cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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8:27p, 6/24/26
https://instagr.am/p/DZ8hS1vvza5
stillnofurdium, so the "experts" are saying there's a chance (keep in mind it's possible that shocky got better sources than the recruiting "experts")??


the bears staff is NOT gonna be outworked & keep in mind that the 3.6 gpa hayden don't wanna be another ex duck (88% acceptance rate, it's harder to get into a prison ged program than eugene) that is ****** working for tips as a valet at the wynn resort parking my wheels wth club music blaring outta the sound system speakers at 1:30 am at age 30

the TAKERS get PAID in the NFL plus earn berkeley degrees that is a pathway to building generational wealth OUTSIDE of football (low gpa ****hole truck stop town football factories don't give 2 ***** about their low academic disposable gladiators once they can be replaced by better talent or are outta eligibility, their relationships with the workers is purely transactional)

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Shocky1
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9:03p, 6/24/26

cal's MONSTER offensive line gotta lotta remarkable young men & it all begins with the 6th year STARTING CENTER!!

if u tole me bastian is gonna be on a fast ascending path to becoming the ceo of travelers insurance company and a member of both interlachen & white bear yacht club at age 30, i would believe in u!!

this is cal football#
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Shocky1
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9:21p, 6/24/26

the BEST 2 minutes & 32 seconds of ur day (do u got ur 2026 season tixs??)!!#
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Shocky1
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3:15p, 6/25/26
2027 california golden bears football schedule:

https://instagr.am/p/DaBSz2ih6tf
sacramento state-august 28, 2027 at memorial stadium (JKS hesiman & the spida man campaigns start here!!)
ucla-september 4, 2027 at the rose bowl (breakfast at erewhon/late nite dining at nobu malibu)
old dominion-september 11, 2027 at memorial stadium (qb2 dane weber passing for 250+ yards in relief)

smu-tbd at memorial stadium (no fracking in berkeley)
louisville-tbd at memorial stadium (lowest gpa acc opponent, don't be a dumb azz)
florida state-tbd at memorial stadium (**** the noles & their new head coach)
boston college-tbd at memorial stadium (safety school for those denied admission to the ivy league)

miami-tbd in south beach (early morning gameday tee time at seminole)
pittsburgh-tbd in steel town (early morning gameday tee time at oakmont)
georgia tech-tbd at coca cola headquarters (early morning gameday tee time at peachtree)
stanford-tbd on the farm (shocky's b-day storming the field celebration!!)

an additional ROADIE acc game will be announced to fulfill the conference 9 game schedule

https://instagr.am/p/DZ_V9Thpuf_
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Shocky1
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4:04p, 6/25/26
2026 cromwell connecticut tournament: 1st round update


^ note the cal script on the bag (kim does this **** for FREE)!!

michael kim (68, tied for 32nd): michael (the #51 ranked player in the WORLD) is playing well in all phases of his game primarily due to the solid pink shirt/blue pants combo look...his ELITE scrambling (5 outta 6 today) will serve him well at the 2026 british open at royal birkdale which favors low penetrating draws in the heavy blackpool coastal breezes...kim could save money on caddie fees by carrying his own ******* bag like shocky!!

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
^ did the monster not put the flag in correctly or are the 30+ mph winds just blowing it sideways at the remote ardfin on the isle of jura (only golfer on the billionaire's private estate for a couple of days visit)??

collin morikawa (69, tied for 46th): the #9 ranked player in the WORLD is ball striking as well as anybody in the field with 12 outta 14 fairways & an unreal 16 outta 18 greens in regulation but 4 happy gilmore short game miscues (bogeys on the 9th & 10th holes & pars on the 6th & 15th holes) around the greens (the monster absolutely hates it when collin uses his utility wood off the green which usually results in a gunned "putt" well past the hole which resulted in today's missed 25 footer for birdie on the 281 yard scoreable par 4 15th hole)

cal golf: despite a sloppy double bogey/bogey finish ziqin zhou took it low with an explosive 7 birdie 65 & is tied for 31st at the prestigious northeast amateur invitational (won by morikawa back in the day before he owned a norelco shaver) at the tricky par 69 donald ross designed wannamoisett (the 2nd best course in rhode island after shelter harbor which is just down the street from taylor swift's ginormous oceanside mansion in newport's watch hill enclave)...sihao cong (got great hair & an always positive smiling attitude unlike homa) shot 69 & 68 in stroke play to finish tied for 3rd at the california state amateur tournament before advancing to match play & losing in the field of 32, well done sihao (r u making strides in building muscle mass & ball/club speed training??)...matthew miyamoto (yet another undersized bear even after 3 years in berkeley, the s&c program is ineffectual) shot a 72 at us amateur local qualifying at san juan oaks & will be advancing to final qualifying at ruby hill for the 2026 us amateur at merion (z is already qualified for the national championship!!)


^ unlike rory, jack & tiger, morikawa cannot be bothered with advance scouting trips to future major sites at the cathedrals of golf
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Shocky1
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4:49p, 6/25/26

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island
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sonofabear51
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9:39p, 6/25/26
Keep bumping
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Shocky1
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1:29a, 6/26/26
2028 high school recruiting updates:




the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including venice)


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Shocky1
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10:18a, 6/26/26
2027 high school recruiting updates:




https://instagr.am/p/DYfNSZ8BsuW
cal's 2027 spida man & friends superheroes class (this **** is getting LIVE!!)#
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Shocky1
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9:38p, 6/26/26
2026 cromwell connecticut tournament: 2nd round update


michael kim (67, tied for 34th): how do u shoot a 67 by hitting only 3 outta 14 fairways & 3 jack city the final 2 greens en route to making only 50 feet in putts??...that's called maximum EFFICIENCY!!

collin morikawa (66, tied for 34th): collin's body is not 100% moving thru the shots right now but still an unreal 13 of 14 fairways off the tee & 15 of 18 greens in regulation

both michael & collin got potential low 60s in them this weekend, book it dano!!

real talk: no matter how badly anti football/basketball agenda evil as **** (suicidal women's swimmers, the darkest stain upon the university in multiple decades) jay & jenny continue to disgrace/dismantle cal athletics (particularly both hoops programs) as enabled by the feckless rich lyons, my fandom in cal golf is untouchable & far beyond their reach...conference affiliations do not matter in golf, the bears could get relegated to the golden gate bridge junior college conference & still develop world class pga golfers!!

counting on non accountable worthless bureaucrats (who burn donor money with zero financial austerity, thx goodness the football program has severed any connection to the athletic department) to do the right thing is not really a berkeley thing these days

2026 northeast amateur:

https://instagr.am/p/DaD8Ea8DAPz
ziqin zhou (64, tied for 4th); z played like a BOSS MAN closing out with an en fuego 5 birdies in the last 8 holes, let's do this tomorrow z, shocky got the beary white cal championship song cued up brah!!
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:29a, 6/27/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:




bruins staff (unofficial visit to westwood yesterday after cancelling lsu official visit) is recruiting myles as an undersized hybrid linebacker which got no NFL upside because they're already full at safety & don't wanna anger their multiple 2027 s1 commitments, smoke & mirrors recruiting strategy

cali is home (for those that wanna build generational wealth via NFL development & berkeley's ELITE academics in ideal year round cali weather, baton rouge is a ****hole & the 7th highest murder rate in the united states)!!#


the TAKERS get PAID in the NFL & earn a generational wealth building BERKELEY degree!!

do u got ur tix(s) for the uc championship game on saturday september 5, 2026??
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Shocky1
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5:28p, 6/27/26
2026 cromwell connecticut tournament: 3rd round update

https://instagr.am/p/DLAsakAP5Wq
collin morikawa (64, tied for 14th): major move up the leaderboard after an en fuego 8 birdie 64!!...thru 54 holes morikawa is 2nd in the field in driving accuracy (38 outta 42 fairways) & 1st in greens in regulation (48 outta 54), wowza!!...if the putter warms up mañana, a round in the low 60s could be in the cards!!

note of appreciation for morikawa: the monster played brentwood cc by ucla this morning with his longtime friend/biz mentor (shocky got mentors for everything in life, if u think u know it all ur gonna never grow & be ******, never be close minded to advice/criticism) jj who tole me on the 18th green that he's never seen me get up & down from the sandtraps so many times in a round...the key for me is utilizing collin's patented trademark technique of gripping down to almost to the steel & playing bunker shots with SPEED thru the ball, dom arigato to my hopa/hopa brah!!

michael kim (68, tied for 40th): better ball striking today but not the world class putting (only 51 feet in putts) we expect from mr kim...let's ******* go michael before ur favorite tourny on planet earth, next week's john deere tractor invitational with ur former bears teammate max homa joining the FUN in the cornfields of iowa or something!!

2026 northeast amateur tournament: 4th round update

https://instagr.am/p/DaG-xwdvRjx
ziqin zhou (69, tied for 4th): once again for the 4th straight round a candy azz soft mediocre front nine & a fabulous back nine, that's just golf sometimes...mark my words, z is gonna be an underdog contender to win it all (as long as he don't buy any 30 day old convenience store sushi at sheetz!!) at the 2026 us amateur at merion on the main line in philly, zhou got all the shots but more importantly my poly brah is a fighter!!


^ yeah rocky did it all for that cbyf1!!
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Shocky1
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9:56p, 6/27/26
https://instagr.am/p/DaGjCF7hvSA
do u got ur season tix(s) for this fall's EPIC cali golden bear season in the sun??#
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DWM81
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2:38p
Collin Morikawa -9 61 -20. Best I have ever seen him putt...
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Shocky1
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7:05p
2026 red umbrella pga tournament: 4th round update

https://instagr.am/p/DaJqqkOOhkz
^ transcript of the above conversation:

collin: great playing and good luck tomorrow in the playoff with victor, i gotta run to the private terminal to get wheels up back to the west coast to change some diapers or something

scottie: thanks collin, appreciate the kind words, sorry you won't be hoisting the trophy this year

collin: no big ******* deal scottie, shocky is gonna play the cal championship golf barry white song in my honor!!

scottie (nodding his head): totally understand, CONGRATS!!

collin: hey been meaning to ask you what do you do with the smelly diapers afterwards??

scottie (kinda concerned): you throw them in the trash can and wash your hands, why do you ask??

collin: well i've been just hiding them under the sofa but your suggestions makes sense!!



collin morikawa (61, 3rd place): what happens when the game's arguably best ball striker makes almost 135 feet in putts??

collin shoots an unreal 9 birdies & 9 pars MONSTER 61 as predicted by cal's monster class!!

for the week morikawa wuz #1 in the field with 64 outta 72 greens in regulation (that 88.89%) & #2 in the field in hitting fairways with 50 outta 56 laser precision drives (89.29%), a robot could not do this ****!!

real talk: scheffler should be taking pointers from morikawa

https://instagr.am/p/DaJjsymukcq
anyways collin is gonna next compete (gonna pass on the scottish open to rest the back) at the 2026 british open at royal birkdale as our cali bear targets a 3rd MAJOR!!

michael kim (66, tied for 30th): talk about a smokeshow, michael played the 11th thru the 14th holes 5 under par as the world's #51 ranked player continues to stack stellar play tournaments!!

it would not surprise the monster at all if kim or homa win next week's john deere tractor invitational in iowa, michael will be the only cali bear competing in the following week's scottish as his prep work for the 2026 british open while max will be a marquee player in the pga tournament in kentucky...stay tuned baby, a lotta the best golfers on planet earth are berkeley bears (rolo, the monster wuz NOT talking about u, making a par 4 on the 14th hole at indian valley from the white tees don't make u a superstar brah, don't be a dumb azz)!!

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Shocky1
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8:14p
2027 high school recruiting update:


real talk: just like mamushi killah 1300+ yards in 2026 rb1 adam mohammed, jaxsen stokes is gonna be a ******* star star star star star star star in berkeley!!



https://instagr.am/p/DaAhH-ilnvK
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the clubs in roppongi)
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