2027 high school recruiting update:

NEWS: DL Segun Alexander made headlines recently when reclassified up to 2027. His phone has been blowing up and he’s locked in five OVs.

The latest: https://t.co/BiJ4FidLNS pic.twitter.com/R6mJ5uvMnN

— ChadSimmons (@ChadSimmons_) May 24, 2026

coach lup & the staff are prioritizing unreal +1 athletic destructive defensive lineman seegun alexander/shaggy from rabun gap high school in liburn georgia (half an hour from downtown atlanta)

2028 DL Segun Alexander @__segun__ with the rep in 1-on-1s earlier at Rabun Gap’s College Coaches Social.

Alexander’s recruitment has continued to take off after a great sophomore season. He has offers from Florida State, Tennessee, Georgia Tech and more. pic.twitter.com/cjVZ4CUEs0

— Wesley Branch (@Wesley__Branch) January 28, 2026

seegun is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.5 gpa and is on track to complete high school in only 3+ years!!

yeah only 1 of shaggy's official trips finalists is in cali on the left coast in the land of palm trees & the pacific ocean, is it time for young mr alexander to have an adventure??



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (and not a football factory that exploits its disposable gladiators)

Shocky1 said:

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KABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!

shocky taught his 1st class today as a substitute yoga teacher when master teacher anton got a mysterious message (ip address from the new buc-ee's in buckeye arizona with a grand opening of june 22nd) advising him that the 4:15 pm modern yoga class wuz cancelled & the shockster graciously filled in!!

additionally after being originally being unfairly evaluated (which wuz kinda ruining schulzy's whole life!!) as a substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17) by the modern yoga management, he's now been upgraded to syt16, yeah the monster is taking the victory!!

My first day at work as a trainer😂😂 pic.twitter.com/GtsIduaG43

— The Wolf Man (@iTheWolfman) May 20, 2026

it's a great day to be a bear (roaRRRRRRRR)!!#

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https://instagr.am/p/DXM9fSljDmN
Dear Mr. Shocky,

How are you?

We are NOT fine.

It has been brought to our attention that at your first (and maybe last) substitute teaching yoga class at Modern Yoga that before class when a curvy brunette yoga female (CBYF1) posed a philosophical question about life that you responded with "STFU, just STFU, pretentious, that's very pretentious."

You also unilaterally offered the class FREE to all ASU female students and grads while doubling the cost for all the "brahs" and instructing them to put their mats "further afar" in the back row against the far wall in order to not block your line of eyesite "in the downfield vertical passing attack" whatever that means.

And you also violated the nationwide male yoga teacher standards by wearing non conforming Vilebrequin shorts instead of LuLu Lemon, did not tie the drawstrings of these turtle printed shorts, did not show any visible tattoos and basically roared "Roaaaaaaaarrrrhhh" after every difficult pose.

Lastly when students were exiting the studio after the SOLD OUT class you insisted on screaming at them "Demand the ball, Ivan, demand the ball!!"

Whose Ivan??

Anyways in the powers vested in us by the Maricopa County Supreme Court presided over by Judge Barth we are now officially relegating you from a Substitute Yoga Teacher16 to a SYT17. You are hereby REPLACED by Leidy as a SYT16 effectively immediately.

https://instagr.am/p/DLQRLhDyXbA
This decision is FINAL and may not be appealed.

Cordially,

-Modern Yoga Management Staff

wut up modern yoga??

how r u??

ima fine!!

https://instagr.am/p/BG2c9tghHcW
best regards,

shocky