cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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this is cal football (wut the **** does mason mini think he's doing??)#

https://instagr.am/p/DTgqgNejJpJ
ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
oskiswifeshusband
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Shocky, what do you think of the transfer portal adds so far? Anything lacking? What about your thoughts on the completed coaching staff?
Shocky1
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oskisgfisacbyf1, heading into this weekend's final critical recruiting weekend with multiple official visitors (with an emphasis upon the d) in berkeley before classes start for the spring semester on tuesday, the cal's monster class scorecard is as follows with respects to talent acquisition in the 2026 transfer portal (currently at 22) vs the talent level on the 2025 roster:

position rooms significantly improved:
cal's monster offensive line: jimothy lewis, jacob arop, mykeal rabess, ashton rivera & kahlee tafai
running back: adam mohammed, carter vargas & ashton emory
tight end: dorian thomas
wide receiver: ian strong, chase hendricks & cooper perry
kicking: angus davies & towns mcgough, still need a long-snapper according to a little birdie

position rooms slightly above neutral:
defensive back (more violent/physical, less bull**** flag football): kingston lopa, daniel harris, marquis groves-killebrew & michael hurst jr
defensive line: solomon williams & justin beadles...ashun sheppard (huge talent) is pending with berkeley admissions

position room slightly below neutral:
quarterback: jackson brosseau

position group significantly worser (with the departures of cade & luke):
linebacker: tristan jernigan

gotta luv all the experienced multiple position group assistant coaches which is modeled after the oregon high development level system, the defensive line (the hardest position to recruit to berkeley with the limited # of high gpa prospects) has been recruited/coached at a mediocre level for years, glad berkeley grad/nfl standout lorenzo alexander is returning to his alma mater!!

https://instagr.am/p/DTmBlztFDbW


**** balenciaga (right past the wawa as she alligator cries)#
Shocky1
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update: with the 2026 transfer portal window for entry closing at midnite, syris corley is the latest to throw away a berkeley degree (would not be surprised if he don't head to north texas with mike bloesch along with former bears wr josiah martin whose oklahoma nil deal got non renewed & thus is flipping again to the mean green)

ben marshall is also limping away (from a 5 month acl/mcl surgery, whose gonna recruit him??) from a berkeley degree after 3 years, congrats to the future lunch shift supervisor at shoneys

a lotta of the former berkeley students (the majority hitting the road without earning a degree) on the list below overestimated their market value in a ******* ruthless game of musical chairs with not enuf seats for everyone, yeah they are gonna be ****** when they are 30 years old

u can't stop stoooopid#



current bears in the transfer portal:

ben marshall
syris corley
aidan keenaaina
jayden dixon-veal
jaiven plummer (georgia tech)
tyson ford (ucla)
chase meyer (withdrawn)
brook honore jr
rino monteforte (kansas)
jordan spasojevic-moko
jacob houseworth
landon morris (wake forest)
kendrick raphael (smu)
braden miller (duke)
cade uluave (byu)
daz james
ryan mcculloch (ucla)
kaden cook
myles reber
isaac torres
eze osundu (utsa)
daveion harley (florida international)
harrison taggart
abram murray
belay brummel
ike okafor (washington state)
cam sidney (withdrawn)
lajuan owens (central arkansas)
luke ferrelli (clemson)
nate burrell (withdrawn)
devin brown (weber state)
brandon high jr (utsa)
tj bush (minnesota)
nick morrow (kansas)
michael kern
leon bell (colorado)
ej caminong (withdrawn)
curlee thomas (north texas)
buom jock (wake forest)



young, dumb & broke (at age 30)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna do the hard work, this **** is NOT easy)

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DTj3kyejEjO
^ crafty bunker shot seรฑor bundy!!

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
real talk: u don't gotta play the world's top 100 golf courses to experience great FUN architecture, schulzie luvs the par 3 course at golden gate park & when paired with lake merced (or the olympic lake or my old caddie stomping grounds san francisco golf club) is a SPECIAL day in the city by the bay!!



shocky's tiny cute/smart tiger moms (berkeley grad who grew up poor as **** on the 2nd floor above a laundry in sf) learned to swim at garfield when she wuz 5#
Shocky1
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2026 polynesian bowl







cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island
Shocky1
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cal qb2 update: 3.8 gpa ej caminong is now withdrawn from the transfer portal

go be great ej & let's earn that berkeley degree brah!!


a mind is a terrible thing to waste (don't be a dumb azz)#
Shocky1
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KAAAAAABBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

yet another grown azz sec transfer at a position of critical need tennessee transfer outside linebacker +1 athletic with length 6'5" 243 lb emmanuel okoye is official with berkeley admissions & a nil contract all a done deal!!


okoye also took official visits this past week to northwestern, michigan state & mississippi state

majoring in information sciences

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the beautiful people of lagos nigeria)


ac_green33
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Shocky1 said:


KAAAAAABBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

yet another grown azz sec transfer at a position of critical need tennessee transfer outside linebacker +1 athletic with length 6'5" 243 lb emmanuel okoye is official with berkeley admissions & a nil contract all a done deal!!


okoye also took official visits this past week to northwestern, michigan state & mississippi state

majoring in information sciences

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the beautiful people of lagos nigeria)




This guy is +4 athletic
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CrQzWZ4LD5g
is there anything more ******* annoying than going to coachella (with backstage access) & 2 of ur favorite artists are performing at the same time on different stages??



so shocky is heading to coachella next week for the pga tournament which will be played the first 3 days over 3 different courses with the final round at the stadium course

since max homa & michael kim are both entered in the tournament shocky has written the tournament director & the pga tour staff director of playing competition requesting that max & michael are paired together to facilitate my on the course coaching/development responsibilities for both players, this makes sense, rite??

tee times will be released on tuesday

if this is successful then shocky will also lobby with espn & the acc commish to schedule the battle for the uc championship with ucla on saturday september 5, 2026 for a 2:45 pm kick off at memorial stadium to allow me ample time for a leisurely breakfast at the crepevine followed by a brisk walking 18 holes at either poppy ridge (need to check out the renovation work) or san francisco golf club, got it??

and why does modern yoga got such a rigid class schedule, why can't they just start the vinvyassa flow classes 30 minutes after my morning doggy dog hikes up the mountain??
https://www.modern.yoga/schedule

the monster needs to get the message (stfu shocky)!!#

Shocky1
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cal transfer portal recruiting update:


the staff is working to finalize the signing of high energy/non stop motor north texas transfer defensive lineman 6'3" 280 lbs jayden "big jay" williams from monroe louisiana


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on planet earth (including wossman high school)

Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:



my guy mateen bhaghani wuz not the only guy who didn't build a trusting relationship with ryan longwell (and also wilcox & cherrington who both got blind spots for special team personnel) which resulted in 4.0 gpa david bird from phoenix chasing a bag from alabama & throwing away a berkeley degree

david's kinda worthless alabama (or really any deep south diploma other than duke, vanderbilt or georgia tech) degree isn't gonna open any doors back in zony & that's just bad parenting/mentoring but looking forward to seeing the bird at desert ridge next year working at build a bear, the supercuts apprentice program or something (maybe a kiss gene simmons cover band??)

https://instagr.am/p/CdYzaQ4po5P


stfu shocky (why do u think u know ******* everything??)#

^ the monster would luv to see the high upside assistant gm marshall cherrington develop in his special teams personnel evaluations & for ron rivera to coordinate for mc to visit/shadow a nfl special teams coach this offseason for a couple of days




we are very BUSY people (what time does the build a bear at desert ridge close today??)#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

cal/oregon transfer portal recruiting update:



multiple ducks including all american jericho johnson are contemplating flying home for starting jobs & generational wealth building berkeley degrees!!


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (not just the united states & only an hour drive from suisun to memorial stadium for the fam on fall gamedays in the beautiful bay area)

https://instagr.am/p/DTobXkEAfy2
KAAAAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah jericho makes plays at a critically needed position with NO EFFORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

only question is if johnson is gonna buy a watch or an aquarium??

Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

cal portal entrant:

with an earned berkeley degree in hand & 2 years of eligibility remaining, jaiven plummer as a result of being buried in the wideout room depth chart has entered the transfer portal...the monster appreciated jaiven's physicality on special teams!!

outgoing transfer portal list updated

berkeley grad jaiven plummer to georgia tech

future ceo in training at coca cola#

https://instagr.am/p/CxOFjaMxZhO
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DToUqFRDXQ0
2026 pga tournament at waialae country club: 3rd round update

michael kim (74, tied for 56th): on a windy day in diamond head kim's struggles continued with his driver (lost balls with hooks into the lake on the par 4 2nd hole & the outta bounds driving range on the par 5 9th) hole with last in the field (for those making the cut) driving accuracy (21 outta 42 fairways hit thru 3 rounds)


yeah somedays michael paints beautiful music that be his vision but other days (like today) it's just them rescue doggy dogs ******* around for a couple of hours

whatever

https://instagr.am/p/DSspPFOEu1L
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DPuJMiuEun5
cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (home away from home for those that got good gpas)#
Shocky1
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life is not linear (sigh)#
Shocky1
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KAAAAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last season's flag football bull**** fake tackling is over in the bears defensive back room, WELCOME ole miss transfer (previously at south alabama) well constructed 6'3" 200 lbs physical cornerback rickey "trenches" fletcher from holmes county high school in durant mississippi to the left coast!!

rickey is NOT a dumb azz, he wuz on the ole miss dean's honor roll during the fall of 2025 majoring in interdisciplinary studies

yeah trenches gets it


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including those that are tired of the low key racism & lousy azz weather in the deep south)



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
NVBear78
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Hello Bill, from the Napa Valley and your fellow insurance jockey!

Our Bears basketball team could sure benefit from your support and Mark Madsen's superhuman efforts have made Haas fun again and brought us hope.

You know more than anyone that being a Cal fan is like riding your bike uphill and against the wind. I believe we all need to band together and most importantly pull together to help our teams succeed.

You were a big help to our past basketball success. Hoping you can hop on board and help fuel our program as we rebound from the horrendous years of Wyking Jones and Mark Fox.

Go Bears!
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/Cs4a9Vxpr1H
hey jeff, got nothing but mad respect for ur passion for cal hoops (my departure wuz not my choice)!!

these days other than watching cal wbb on tv i got zero interest (left the super bowl at the beginning of the 4th quarter when it wuz here in phx) in teams sports other than the 13 bears football games which can be tied into world class golf sidetrips as ima kinda like a cbyf1 that would rather go shopping & check out the new 2026 zimmerman spring collection than waste time watching the nfl, nba, mlb or even cal mbb

yeah didn't realize it then but cal's monster class wuz shocky's love letter to the MAGIC of cal basketball!!



life is not linear (and tomorrow is unknowable & nothing has been ruled out particularly on the FUN short par 5 18th hole at brambles)#
^ shocky is pretty good with his side hustle gigs to pay past due bills & **** including writing chinese fortune cookie inserts (too bad that reese pieces don't got inserts or something)
Shocky1
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california golden bears 73
boston college terriers 58

as lethal as a great barrier reef shark attack, lulu twidale aka the future mrs nohl williams (the nfl guy's forever cbyf1) scored an unreal 36 points on 8 of 15 3 points while national rehab player of the year gisella maul contributed 17 points on a highly efficient 5 of 7 3 pointers for the bears (11-9) 1st acc conferenc road victory of the season!!

https://instagr.am/p/DQE29MyEYKO
let it fly, lulu, let it fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#
Shocky1
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coach lupoi: look doms, we want you to run it back with the new ncca eligibility expansion rules as a cbyf1 with the cheer/dance squad!!

doms: wut does shocky think, is this a conditional or actionable offer??

coach lupoi: doms, let's be real here, your #1 on the cal's monster class big board based upon your 3.94 gpa at the rosary academy!!

doms: ima kinda allergic to dogs, is that gonna be a problem??

coach lupoi: ay caramba, let me get back to you!!

https://instagr.am/p/CpqZKRYPNHC
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DTnfZQaDC0o
sihao, ur skinny azz breakfast got around 10 protein grams, how the **** r u gonna get 150+ grams in daily at this rate??

no wonder the cal men's golf team other than z and charlie is the most undersized squad in division 1 golf!!

look, looking like a lean feral doggy dog like shocky is fine if ur primary goal in life is to become a substitute teacher17 at modern yoga but it's no bueno if u wanna evah build the necessary clubhead SPEED to play championship golf, got it??

brah, ur gonna be a berkeley grad, don't be such a dumb azz seรฑor chef boyardee!!

https://instagr.am/p/DPRx8wejmEj
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

cal transfer portal recruiting update:


if the ncca approves a final year of eligibility louisiana-monroe transfer with a 74 inch wingspan offensive tackle 6'5" 325 lbs tank "que" mcbroom from st marys high school in st louis would be a high motor trench worker for cal's monster offensive line

allowed zero sacks against alabama this season!!


the ncca junior college appeals should be finalized in the near future, right jacob??

cal transfer portal recruiting update:

tank is leaving an official visit at ole miss & will be arriving in berkeley tomorrow for an official visit

still no word from the ncca re: his jc eligibility petition

if necessary shocky (who aced his haas biz ad pre law class back in the day) is prepared to file with co counsel bevans an incomprehensible injunctive function demand with the contra costa supreme court on tank's behalf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shocky1
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cal transfer portal recruiting update:

the bears wuz close but no cigar with qb hurries but very few sacks in 2025, recruiting apex predator edges that can close deals is a priority with the official visit today of well constructed north texas transfer (previously at campbell) 6'5" 255 lbs joshua pierce from university liggett high school in detroit (grosse pointe woods)

joshua has also tripped to illinois & oklahoma state, started at the bottom now he's here


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including motown/the canadian border)

Shocky1
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2026 pga tournament at waialae country club: 4th round update

michael kim (65, tied for 31st): started with a hat trick of birdie 3s on the opening par 4s & then closed on the dogleg left (which favors kim's draw) par 5 18th hole with an electrifying 70 foot holed flop shop from the juicy right rough for an eagle 3, let's ******* go!!


next week former bears teammates michael kim & max homa will be competing at coachella while collin morikawa (who literally might be the worst greens reading pro on the pga tour & stubbornly refuses any assistance from his caddies on reading putts) focuses on the tgl exhibition league instead of playing on the left coast

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DQnhJDDiYkU
cal transfer portal recruiting update:

with classes resuming for the spring semester on tuesday a # of "commitments" are expected to reach resolutions with the admissions office & if accepted then signed nil deals

beware fake news (gpas matter in berkeley, any recruiting "info" without gpas is essentially as worthless as a longwell coached placekicker)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DQZTe7gjn49
job/career posting: the build a bear at desert ridge is paying minimum wage plus competitive benefits for the company's supervisor mgmt training program which is targeting industrious hard working talent that's good with customer relationships with the academic requirement of at least a semi worthless degree from paper mill football factories like oregon, alabama & ohio state!!

apply today for an exciting FUTURE when ur 30 years old, u can defy gravity!!



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
BearForceOne
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It feels like we are getting many years worth of high level players all in one year. Can't wait for the upcoming season!
Shocky1
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real talk: some of ur new teammates (strangers now really) u just met r gonna be ur ride until u die best friends forever & the best men in ur wedding someday, that's just crazy as ****, rite??

so plz do not smother to death with ur pillow ur new roomie if they snore like a wounded elephant or "borrow" ur beats, ok??


50 year friendships (r priceless)#

Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

cal/oregon transfer portal recruiting update:


+1 athletic 6'3" 244 lbs oregon inside linebacker kamar mothudi from los alamitos high school in so cal is gonna enter the transfer portal

https://instagr.am/p/DPaMB86EdPI
academically kamar is interested in graphic design & a hybrid creative advertising major

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD


KAAAAAABBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMZZZAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!


everything is locked down with berkeley admissions & a signed nil deal, coach hutchings got a potential ilb1 heading into 2026 spring ball!!



despite believing the oregon bull**** recruiting pitch for "taking care of me for life after football" (the ducks coaches particularly criminal dana altman have been promising nike employment for years to naive high schoolers) kamar is NOT a dumb azz, the oldest of 3 kids he took advanced biology in high school!!

yeah there are no FREE lunches in life but a berkeley, stanford & ivy league degree (which requires a lotta hard work & disciplined time management) is a true path to building generational wealth in an increasingly competitive global economy that with the advances in a1 is widening the disparity between the poor and the rich

the university of california of california, berkeley=critically needs a couple of starting linebackers1
Shocky1
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sometimes it gets a little hectic out there (this is NOT like anything that's ever gone on with the cal football coaching staff & recruiting)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DTrfXqIEeiE
fun fact 1: my brah z shares shocky's proclivity for erroneous early call non holed shots!!
https://instagr.am/p/DSS2jiuCUk1
fun fact 2: sihao would NOT be hitting outta creeks on the par 5 1st hole & **** if he wuz taking in 150+ grams of protein on a daily basis

fun fact 3: chang putts better with his wedge than morikawa does with his putter (and no doubt can read greens better than collin too)

fun fact 4: it's incomprehensible why so many of the bears like heo travel with frying pans in their golf bags instead of a 3rd wedge

fun fact/question 5: why the **** are wilson & ireland encouraging our high gpa true student athletes to play dice & other gambling activities (berkeley is not a worthless piece of crap skool for dumb azzs in a low key racist ****hole town like oklahoma state)??...wut's next, teaching cox & moto how to shoplift at target??

fun fact 6: the day this summer that mon ami parisian & future euro ryder cupper callixte alzas arrives in berkeley is gonna be tres magnifique!!

fun fact 7: brambles is the best pure golf experience on the west coast, there's no bull**** 5 hour+ cartball rounds with a cbyf1 cart girl zooming around in middletown, firm & fast bouncy links turf (not wall to wall dumbed down green grass american housing development garbage time) with a tight walkable routing reveals the most FUN creative shotmaking architecture on planet earth

fun fact 8: the "B" logo at brambles actually stands for berridge (tho my caddie to the far right in the foto below wisely tole me it probably stood for "bears" when collecting his 36 hole walking looper fee with a generous tip, as a former caddie at san francisco golf club back in the day double bagging during the summer the monster has never forgotten his humble roots & always takes care of his wingman)

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DTsqo-FDVDO


today i am hopeful (and this is my dream)#

https://instagr.am/p/DIAAbcyPxI_
^ yeah elijah king is all grown up & is still working to protect the most vulnerable in society (who did u help today??)
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DTt9Q3bFKwA


started at the bottom (now the whole team is here)#
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