cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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12:10p, 6/15/26
one week cal commit amaziah siale flips to lsu

this is 100% a byproduct of the bears head coach inaccurately telling prospects that berkeley is the #1 ranked public university in the "country" and not the "WORLD"!!



cal's monster class#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:31p, 6/15/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


the staff is prioritizing physical motor 6'2" 225 lbs inside linebacker fui vakapuna from timpview high school in draper utah, fui & his good looking family will be officially tripping to berkeley on june 15th-18th


fui is not a dumb azz, he knows that polys thrive in the ideal year round cali weather in an inclusive family culture!!


cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island

fui & the fam are gonna be officially visiting the claremont this weekend june 16-18th!!

real talk: the staff is working to stack polys with academic ambition & elite football talent that got cbyf1 moms
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In reply to Shocky1 • 1:09p, 6/15/26
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


the staff is prioritizing 2 way football/hoops star 6'1" 185 lbs corner/nickel kamil loud jr from powerhouse bishop gorman high school in las vegas


kamil loud sr played for them san louis obispo mustangs & got drafted by the buffalo bills, he's a great parent as evidenced by him taking his fam to bears games at memorial stadium starting at age 6 raising them in the bay area (richmond) back in the day!!


kamil is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.7 gpa

go mustangs (to the morro bay golf course & then the madonna inn for an early dinner)!!#

UPDATE: the loud family is gonna officially trip back to the bay on june 11-14th!!

wut up kamil??

did u ask billy belichick if he's a big fan or blue strips or something??

make sure u get over to haas pavilion this weekend & get some shots up, got it??

go bares!!



KAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah cal's monster class approves of this 3.7 gpa commitment who already knows the importance of a cbyf1 (plus she do funny elvis sneers)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DXrTMvrjnEY
^ fashion note: the bottom of her shoes are red heeled louis vuitton!!

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com
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Goof Ball Bear
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6:06p, 6/15/26
Roll on Bears!
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philbert
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6:24p, 6/15/26
Sorry if this has been posted before

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Shocky1
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7:22p, 6/15/26
https://instagr.am/p/DLUn369tSk5
como tele vous callixte??



some people think your matriculating later this summer at the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including france) because you wanna follow in the pga footsteps of collin morikawa, max homa, michael kim & my brah ziqin zhou (if he deals with his back issues by getting a dedicated yoga/meditation practice) playing on the games biggest stages at the cathedrals of golf but the VERITE is that you want to go to buc-ee's!!

and there's nothing wrong with that mon ami (plus you don't gotta dress up in order to visit the beaver store)

https://instagr.am/p/B7bdckuDhlD
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:32p, 6/15/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


eli, do u got CHEMISTRY with ur qb1, rb1 & wrs??



cal's 2027 spida man & friends superheroes class (won't stop)!!#

eli, mid week visits are the best because of the NAKED azz (clothing optional) midnite pool parties at the claremont with cbyf1s that got triggering ponytails!!

just ask dane & the spida man
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:42p, 6/15/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


hayden, as a smart as **** 3.5 gpa true student athlete why do u got 3 bull**** worthless academic football factories that gotta lotta low gpa disposable gladiators like oregon, georgia & alabama on ur finalists list??

and r u ok with these football factories with unlimited nil/revenue sharing funding being able to buy a cb1 in the transfer portal relegating u to a cb2 in a moment's notice??

what's the travel time & cost to get ur fam to these lousy azz weather ****hole towns vs the 1 hour flights on southwest from vegas to oakland on fall gamedays??

bishop gorman is a national high school football powerhouse but how many crusaders evah actually got PAID in the national football league??...if u evah get injured do u really want to be working for tips valeting at the wynn & parking my wheels at 1:30 am when ur 30 years old??

r u gonna use ur mind as a weapon because ur mentally limitless and gonna take care of moms??

this **** really isn't that complicated, hayden



ambition is something in ur veins (don't be a ******* dumb azz)#

hayden, when u take ur official visit mid week to them berkeley bears make sure u brah kamil (brother from another mother) gives u the best possible top dog culinary ordering advice possible (personally i would not order the 30 day old deep fried barracuda dawg with extra onions & relish), ok??

https://instagr.am/p/C9qNePiyr-a
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DWM81
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8:29p, 6/15/26
I like the Bockwurst at Top Dog. Nice grill marks. Mustard only...
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Shocky1
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8:37p, 6/15/26
^ sez yountville's #1 food critic!!

fun fact: thomas keller is an avid golfer & takes care of (i.e. confirmed dinner reservation, the hardest table to book on the west coast) those that include him for a game at brambles

https://instagr.am/p/DFihv-zIw68
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Shocky1
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In reply to oskiswifeshusband • 9:24p, 6/15/26

oskiswifeshusband said:
Hope you are doing well Shocky xoxo

2027 high school recruiting update:

myles, as a 3.7 gpa bears commit & starting safety in the very near future, cali golden bear nation is counting on you during ur mid week trip to the bay to help close some of our visiting ELITE talent including becky g!!


a brand NEW day in berkeley (cal's 2027 spida man & friends superheroes class)#
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Shocky1
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9:47p, 6/15/26
cal golf update (playing on the game's largest stages at the cathedrals of golf):

https://instagr.am/p/DZn0ygLy-9L


https://instagr.am/p/DSS2jiuCUk1
carnage incoming (just ask simon holmes, **** the grifters)#
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Cal_79
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In reply to DWM81 • 10:10p, 6/15/26
DWM81 said:
I like the Bockwurst at Top Dog. Nice grill marks. Mustard only...

My standard Sunday dinner when living in the dorms was a bock & a hot or a bock & a cal. Onions, kraut, and mustard (combo of yellow + spicy brown). Decades later, reflecting on this still makes my mouth water.
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Shocky1
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10:10p, 6/15/26
2027 high school recruiting update:

https://instagr.am/p/DZnDwYZFGxD
^ luv that last foto, shocky is a mama's boy too!!

miles, not gonna lie, ur the #1 guy in the 2027 class ima most looking forward to having a conversation with re: creative content & other ****

https://instagr.am/p/Cdvssp9j-Ms
kinda hard to believe tho that u passed ur cali driving license text, ur posture is NOT textbook

go be great brah (but let's drive seperately, nothing personal)!!
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Shocky1
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10:16p, 6/15/26
79, back in the day when the monster lived at unit #2 he could smell the tuesday fish nites cooking at the cafeteria 2 blocks away when walking off campus downwind

**** me, coach martin once tole me that sometimes u gotta go thru something to get something in life (didn't realize cuonzo wuz talking about food or something)

https://instagr.am/p/DYz3-LcqIDf
unit #2 is not exactly sexy fish#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:46p, 6/15/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:

https://instagr.am/p/DY7UT_oFB2z
longtime bears wideout target 6'4" 200 lbs all american zion gregory white is transferring from the img academy in florida back home to mililani high school (just north of pearl city) in hawaii!!

https://instagr.am/p/DPKRvEyEo9p
^ brah, ur taking the club too far inside on the backswing, do u hook the **** outta ur drives into the pacific ocean??

zion is NOT a dumb azz, he knows monsterloseurazz.com has set odds of 12,700 to 1 that over the hill bill belichick is not gonna be the tar heels (4-8 last season, 2-6 in the acc) head coach in 18 months from now & that polys thrive in the cali sunshine (and not in rainy gloomy as **** seattle)...rich people that live in the diamond head oceanfront mansions did NOT attend mediocre schools like washington & north carolina, they are berkeley, stanford & ivy league grads

with jaron & dane on board as the qb1s throwing dimes, the bears downfield vertical passing attack is gonna be as explosive as mauna kea when the black lava flows from the volcano!!

yeah NFL development starts with playing time from day 1 getting passes thrown by a legit qb1 & getting coached u by a legendary NFL wide receivers coach (whose partner is a cbyf1, ike is not a dumb azz)

https://instagr.am/p/DTjA2DPki_1
zion, this **** really isn't that complicated brah

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island

https://instagr.am/p/DP1hKB3Efgl
zion, if u decide to give ike ur commitment during ur mid week official visit, tell him u wanna play 9 holes at tilden park in the morning, it got the hardest starting hole in nor cal (the par 4 1st hole is literally a reverse ski slope straight up the mountain, don't think the monster has evah made a par on it but maybe ur better at golf than me??)!!
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:10p, 6/15/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


the staff is targeting high motor with length 6'6" 250 lbs defensive end josh christensen from lake oswego high school in the lousy as **** weather northwest who is gonna be officially tripping to the bay on june 16-18th

josh is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.82 gpa (and a stanford offer)

look, don't tell nobody, but coach lup has confided in cal's monster class that the current conditional offer could become an actionable one if josh promises to quit scarfing down a box of them sugared up angioplasty heart attack voodoo donuts with 3 cups of coffee every morning!!

trust me wideouts blake, demare & the spida man are not eating this ****, they got world class SPEED!!

yeah when is tosh gonna hire future qb1 dane's cbyf1 moms rebecca as the bears team nutritionist2 (n2) supporting n1 kendall pozulp to avoid these kinda problems??

https://instagr.am/p/DY725bzB1vT

the time is NOW (ur getting slowplayed by low gpa 88% acceptance rate oregon)!!#
^ real talk: it's harder to get accepted into a prison ged program than the university of oregon, neither one prepares its grads to make over 20 bucks an hour at age 30
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Shocky1
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7:07a, 6/16/26
https://instagr.am/p/DUGAiSJAYgp
are u utilizing ur athletic talents to facilitate admission into one of the world's ELITE universities which will position u for infinite personal growth (and a lifetime of positive mental health) & building generational wealth (if that's ur goal) or r u gonna throw away this unreal life changing diploma opportunity in order to play football on a football field with a football at a piece of **** academic skool (for low gpa fools) that will leave u ****** at age 30 in a low paying job for dumb azzs??

yeah berkeley, stanford & the ivy league aren't for everyone (particularly if ur intellectually lazy as **** & don't wanna read books & ****)

https://instagr.am/p/DZaQoHKFm53
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DWM81
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10:49a, 6/16/26
Get my daily recruiting fix from the monster. Thanks everybody...
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Shocky1
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11:12a, 6/16/26
2026 us open at shinnecock hills update:



congrats to my poly brah michael kim now exceeding 2,000,000+ twitter followers (as a point of reference the very popular rickie fowler got only 1,500,000), he's followed the cal's monster class brand of authentic storytelling that reflects his true personality...nobody shares more interesting **** about life on the pga tour/the biggest stages like bottoms up in golf from a player's perspective than michael other than club pro guy


real talk: michael kim got the necessary ELITE short game to compete for the trophy this week at the 2026 us open!!

yeah he remembers (and will never forget) the skools that didn't wanna recruit him when he wuz 119 lbs (now 175+ lbs of lean ripped muscle thru relentless speed training) as a senior at legoland high school, dude later won the national collegiate player of the year award (which should be a legit goal for z) in berkeley!!


^ shocky competing against the national powerhouse hoops programs for mcdonalds all americans (5 commitments, 4 signees during cal's monster class 3 year run on broadway before the curtains dropped) back in the day (**** the grifters)!!
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Shocky1
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5:37p, 6/16/26
2027 high school recruiting update:


with the current high school recruiting period winding down (no campus visits/face to face contract permitted from june 22nd thru august 1st except in the sec) the staff is bringing in for an official visit high priority no bull**** trench worker offensive lineman 6'5" 318 lbs ace herman-dawson from crean lutheran high school in irvine (not too further afar from doms, shady canyon & pelican hills)

make no mistake about it ace is a relentless no drama worker with a powerful body (don't need to drop 40+ lbs) and let's be real here if shocky had world class hair like him he would not be unfairly evaluated by modern yoga as a substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17)!!


brah is NOT a dumb azz either, he got a solid 3.2 gpa at an academically rigorous school

let's ******* go to the bay (and bring ur crew since poly culture is inclusive), ace!!

https://instagr.am/p/CdYhai-FxZz
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (unless ur a u.s. american dumb azz who don't got maps & **** such as and so forth so we can build up our future together)

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Shocky1
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In reply to philbert • 7:02p, 6/16/26
philbert said:
Sorry if this has been posted before


https://instagr.am/p/DZaf2rHioVG
wut up jason, u missing the cali weather (66% in berkeley today)??

look with a 4.5 gpa u would be the smartest bear of them all so if u do decide to commit would you plz do me a solid & facetime the bears staff from either the cypress or pearland buc-ee's with the beaver in the background??
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Shocky1
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8:50p, 6/16/26
june 16-18th OFFICIAL VISITS mid week recruiting at the claremont:

https://instagr.am/p/DQJN3oEjqlI
2 current commitments:
*****myles baker-probable day 1 starter as a cali bear which is the key to NFL development in berkeley
*****kamil loud-did not trip last weekend in order to do the hang with his bishop gorman close friend

4 uncommitted prospects:
*****hayden stepp-3.6 gpa all american defensive back, the bears offer the quickest path to a starting db1 job
*****zion white-cal's next great dual sports athlete as a wr1 & walk on men's golfer
*****josh christensen-3.82 gpa apex predator edge defender is considering a skool with an 88% acceptance rate??
*****ace herman-dawson-no ******* drama, just a 3.2 gpa bad azz poly offensive lineman

IMPORTANT TRIP NOTES: all visitors are hereby authorized to charge as much room service & **** to coach lup's account...if u & ur fam want surf n' turf at midnight or a watch or an aquarium, no problemo!!



50 year friendships (in the land of ponytails & palm trees!!)#
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Shocky1
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9:26p, 6/16/26

https://instagr.am/p/e8Xnc8hHbE


all grown up (in richmond & flagstaff)#
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Shocky1
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5:16a, 6/17/26

^ just released us news & report global university rankings

do u wanna earn a degree from the #7 ranked (#1 public) university in the WORLD??

or do u wanna be working for tips as a valet parking my wheels at 1:30 am at the wynn resort when ur 30 years old as a broken down sorry azz ex football star??



don't be a dumb azz (life is NOT linear & a **** up now will carry lifetime consequences)#
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Shocky1
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8:25a, 6/17/26

real talk: too bad longwell, wilcox & cherrington reneged on a promised scholly to ucla's all american kicker when mateen bhaghani's parents (a lotta bearents read the monster, if u wanna know the pulse/what's really going on in the fb program build relationships/talk to the bearents) reached out to me re: their walk on son's unfair treatment by the staff & asked me to intervene on his behalf

the insiders (parroting the company line) tole u that the staff wuz gonna bring in a huge upgrade "big leg" replacement in ryan cole, the monster knew better from watching every early pre game 45 minutes prior to kickoff warm ups that cole wuz a fiery high strung (kinda like a marine recruit) erratic field goal kicker

and the bears ended up losing 3 close games on last minute missed short field goals

did u know that the high gpa mateen wuz gonna apply to the haas biz ad school??

mateen bhaghani's unreal kicking tempo/ball contact=collin morikawa's ice in his veins spectacular world class ball striking

https://instagr.am/p/DP-cJ51Dr3O
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Shocky1
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12:53p, 6/17/26
2026 us open at shinnecock hills: final hamptons practice round update (and then we're off to the races)

https://instagr.am/p/DZnDKqJETMa

^ homa, r u paying attention, "the whiners aren't going to have a chance this week"??




ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com
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GCGBear
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10:49a, 6/18/26
Go Bears
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tequila4kapp
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:22a, 6/18/26
Shocky1 said:
2026 us open at shinnecock hills: final hamptons practice round update (and then we're off to the races)

https://instagr.am/p/DZnDKqJETMa

^ homa, r u paying attention, "the whiners aren't going to have a chance this week"??




ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com

Where / how do the great NY/PA/NJ courses rate for you? National Links, Shinnecock, Pine Valley, Oakmont, Merion, Fischer's Island, Winged Foot, Friars Head, Baltusrol
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Shocky1
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12:06p, 6/18/26


^ trust me these are NOT myopic dumb azzs that wanna attend **** academic skools (for low gpa fools) & later working at coldstone car wash as broken down poor as **** ex football stars for 20 bucks an hour at age 30

the fighting oskis (including finley, she/her/mascot & the monster got the same sense of humour) are on a ******* roll (stacking ELITE talent in cali)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DZska2pGFGW
^ honestly the monster feels kinda sorry for lup, he don't got no maps or something (my tiger moms tole me if u don't got no maps then take ur broke azz home)
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rkt88edmo
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In reply to Cal_79 • 3:03p, 6/18/26
Cal_79 said:
DWM81 said:
I like the Bockwurst at Top Dog. Nice grill marks. Mustard only...

My standard Sunday dinner when living in the dorms was a bock & a hot or a bock & a cal. Onions, kraut, and mustard (combo of yellow + spicy brown). Decades later, reflecting on this still makes my mouth water.

Bock (saurkraut and deli mustard) and Garlic (sweet hot mustard, relish, onions) or sometimes Bock Calabrese for me.
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rkt88edmo
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:11p, 6/18/26
Shocky1 said:


^ trust me these are NOT myopic dumb azzs that wanna attend **** academic skools (for low gpa fools) & later working at coldstone car wash as broken down poor as **** ex football stars for 20 bucks an hour at age 30

the fighting oskis (including finley, she/her/mascot & the monster got the same sense of humour) are on a ******* roll (stacking ELITE talent in cali)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DZska2pGFGW
^ honestly the monster feels kinda sorry for lup, he don't got no maps or something (my tiger moms tole me if u don't got no maps then take ur broke azz home)

Don't judge the map until the season plays out. Longwell still hanging roundin 2026 is well....I love our alumni support but we better not bring one of his kids in like that over a known worker again.
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Shocky1
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5:35p, 6/18/26
agreed rkt, the problem with longwell is that he don't know the difference between field goal kicking workers like ryan "high anxiety" coe or dario "2 iron trajectory" longhetto and an all american like mateen bhaghani

ryan wuz not only not personally supportive/encouraging towards mateen who felt disrespected according to his parents but he also put forth a fake narrative (that wuz gobbled up by the insiders) that bhaghani lacked leg strength based upon an intentional poorly executed pooch kickoff that wuz not practiced during that week's prep work

excuse me, why is ryan longwell still involved in any capacity with the bears kicking workers??

https://instagr.am/p/DXgBZsMD_2x
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7:27p, 6/18/26


tequila, shocky remembers ur a student of golf course architecture too so appreciate ur posting here

my highest ranked golf regions in the united states (best on a global basis would be melbourne's sandbelt region & london's heathland courses) are as follows:

1) the hamptons, best golf on planet earth as follows (courses listed by preference): national golf links of america, friar's head, shinnecock hills, maidstone, east hampton, sebonack, atlantic, southhampton, montauk dunes & the bridges

my favorite course on planet earth is the national golf links of america, spending a day there is kinda like watching our cali bears win the super bowl or something!!...in face to face conversations with the 3 greatest living architects bill coore (my only idol in life), tom doak & gil hanse have all tole me the national is numero uno for them too

2) monterey peninsula, not a lot of depth but unreal top end design work in a spectacular setting: cypress point, pebble beach, mpcc shore, mpcc dunes, pacific grove, spyglass hill & the preserve

3) new york city suburbs: sleepy hollow, winged foot west, somerset hills, quaker ridge, piping rock, winged foot east, plainfield, baltusrol lower, wykagl, creek, fenway, baltusrol upper & hudson national

4) san francisco bay area: san francisco golf club (shocky's caddie grounds during his stinson beach high school & berkeley weekends/summers), olympic lake & the cal club are the gems of the class but recent renovations has raised the level of the tier b courses like peninsula, sharon heights, lake merced, orinda, olympic ocean, claremont & los gatos while brambles is a fabulous low key pure golf experience addition to the scene...best year round golf weather of all the top regions!!

5) greater boston: shocky loves to drive his rental cahrrrrr to myopia hunt (the most underrated course in the usa), the country club, boston golf, old sandwich, essex, the international pines, salem & the fantastic 9 hole whittinsville
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Shocky1
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8:30p, 6/18/26

^ ****hole skools (for low gpa fools) like oregon, oklahoma & florida state are NOT on this list (with an 88% acceptance rate it's harder to get accepted into a prison ged program than the football factory in eugene that gotta lotta disposable gladiators, neither one prepares its grads to make over 20 bucks an hour at age 30)

wut up demare??

look don't wanna sound like captain ******* obvious but it's very apparent that ur moms is proud of u & ur academic ambition and loves you to the sun & back!!

do u tell her single day that u love her & recognize/appreciate all her sacrifices to build u up for an unlimited future??

yeah kosha is gonna luv flying up on southwest with the other friendly so cal bearents on saturday fall gameday mornings to watch u catch bubble screen touchdowns at memorial stadium with the cannon blasting off on tightwad hill but she's gonna be more proud (she will cry like a baby with tears of happiness!!) the day u walk across the stage with a berkeley degree which will ensure a wonderful life for u & her regardless of the NFL

maybe u will buy moms a watch or an aquarium but make no mistake about it ur running back is from cali!!

but let's be real here earning a berkeley degree & hearing ur name on NFL draft day will require a little more than no effort, rite demare??

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