cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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2027 high school recruiting update:


staff is prioritizing +1 athletic multiple purpose 6'7" 285 lbs marcus fatou from orange lutheran high school that competes in the storied dizzyland conference or something

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the oc)
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

2027 high school football recruiting updates:

with the 2026 transfer portal mostly done (still need berkeley admissions acceptances & signed nil contracts for 3 committed defensive linemen plus a longsnapper), the staff is already building a wall around nor cal with 4 key pipeline high schools visited by the entire staff on monday plus a couple of in home visits with high priority targets such as serra high school's 3.3 gpa defensive back jeovanni henley & +1 athletic malakai taufoou




update: jeovanni & malakai are tripping to berkeley this weekend!!


Shocky1
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2027 high school recruiting update:


tosh is prioritizing 16 year old mountain man 6'7" 280 lbs offensive tackle drew felder from servite high school

yeah it's official: lupoi has already visited more uncommitted/unsigned prospects than wilcox (justin liked visiting committed bears & their families at their homes right before national signing day) did in almost a decade

cal's MONSTER offensive line#
Shocky1
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cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (in non snowy/freezing azz cali)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C3L0L4avVYy
2026 phoenix open: field update

a thunderbird (the tournament's organizing ceo group of old white male biz leaders) just tole me that collin morikawa (taking time away from his busy tgl schedule to actually play tournament golf), max homa (a home game) & michael kim (if healthy) have all given verbal commitments to play next week

yeah shocky's coaching responsibilities to his bears is gonna be kinda hectic or something!!

stay focused#
Shocky1
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make no mistake about it mimi is cal football's loudest & most enthusiastic fan on fall gamedays at memorial stadium!!



run it back, mimi, run it back!!#

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the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the beautiful people of the philippines)

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
TomBalk
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Any idea who is coming to CAL for the Elite Junior Day this weekend?
Shocky1
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^ fun fact: shocky luvs animals more than most human beings!!

tommy, while the 1st weekend in january 2027 ELITE junior day wuz primarily focused on nor cal this weekend's 2027 PREMIERE junior day is also targeting so cal & west coast prospects leaning into the 9th island's inclusive POLY culture (yeah that probably means chef benji is gonna be busy grilling)

among the 2027 (unless noted) headliners:

troy bowens: #1 prospect on the staff's overall big board apex predator edge defender from sutter creek high school

honor fa'alave-johnson: the top safety in the nation, this is basically a tosh keenan allen jr recruitment all over again...the staff needs to show honor a couple of scripted plays where honor playing both ways gets the ball in his hands on offense with a swing pass or something from his brah jaron

giovanni hodge: the 3.7 gpa MONSTER offensive lineman from grant high school is a CAL COMMIT!!

sione tu'amohola-keo: the #1 ranked qb on the rolo/jordan big board from the freezing azz northwest, polys thrive in warmer weather than low gpa ****holes like eugene

brady edmonds: current ohio state commit qb from huntington beach high school

duvay williams: lockdown corner/nickel from so cal powerhouse serra high school

jeovanni henley: physical defensive back from the peninsula's serra high school

malakai taufoou: +1 athletic baller with speed from the bay area's serra high school

clint lundin: wrestling background offensive lineman from delasalle high school

deshawn streeter: solidly constructed offensive lineman from antioch high school

josh bunni: road grading offensive lineman from cardinal newman high school

miles schirmer: huge priority (bro is kingston "lucky") high motor defensive lineman from centennial high school in corona

alifeleti tuihalamaka: destructive defensive lineman from oaks christian high school

charles davis: nightmare match up with length wideout from oaks christian high school

cooper cook: unblockable defensive end from tustin high school

sevelino taliuli: scrappy edge defender from servite high school

jacob whitehead: elite corner/nickel from st john bosco high school

evan mack, caden jones, ty johnson & jacob whitehead from crean lutheran high school

zion white: soft hands wideout with length from the img academy in bradenton florida

ezra sanelivi: dynamic homerun running back from liberty high school in henderson nevada

jaylen fitzgerald: son of larry is a +1 athletic from academic brophy high school in phoenix

talan scott: mobile tight end from american leadership academy in queen creek arizona

jalanie george: #1 ranked defender in the 2028 class from desert edge high school in goodyear arizona!!

jaelyn easterling-flores: 2028 safety with length from desert edge high school (arizona)

koa malau'ulu: 2028 qb priority from esteemed st john bosco high school

micah hannah: 2028 lockdown corner/nickel from simi valley high school

jordan slye jr: 2028 high iq defensive back from salesian high school in los angeles

pole moala: 2028 speed safety from leuzinger high school in lawndale

landon miller: 2028 +1 athletic linebacker from delasalle high school

max tuiileila: 2028 feisty offensive lineman from grant high school

amarion taylor: 2028 productive wide receiver from tulare western high school

eazy crichton: 2028 run stuffing defensive tackle from cardinal newman high school

jamar howard: 2028 playmaking quarterback from clovis west high school in fresno

drew cumby: 2028 skilled quarterback from st francis high school in mountain view

kaleb aiava, elisha mueller & keiden lokeni 2028 from bellflower high school

austin miller & david nanson: 2029 +1 athletes from bellflower high school

amar'e hodge: 2029 (bro is giovanni) offensive lineman from grant high school, youngest invitee!!

and hopefully inglewood's singer/actress1 becky g will trip to berkeley too!!

https://instagr.am/p/DQVTgs6gX1f

^ trust the monster, it's way ******* better to have backstage access/viewing at coachella than singing along/watching the big screen cuz u can't see **** in row 139!!
Cal88
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:

2027 high school football recruiting update:


3.2 gpa 6'1" 170 lbs corner/nickel from serra high school in so cal duvay williams is a key target for the staff, gotta keep the ELITE good gpa local talent in cali!!


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on planet earth (and an hour flite on southwest to memorial stadium on fall gamedays for the fam & friends)

update: duvay is tripping to berkeley this weekend!!


FYI



Recruits who aren't locals or who will be travelling to distant programs will appreciate the difference.
Shocky1
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2027 high school recruiting updates:


montana malotu'upule toilolo: 6'3" 250 lbs defensive lineman from powerhouse mater dei high school


isaiah bertola: 6'5" 305 lbs offensive lineman from campbell high school in ewa beach (jks alma mater)


malachi mcfarland: 5'10" 180 lbs running back from damien high school in la verne


johnny mcneil iii: 6'2" 165 lbs corner/nickel from st pius x in downey


drew fielder: 6'6" 280 lbs 16 year old offensive lineman from servite high school in whittier


charles "spider" davis: 6'5" 210 lbs tight end from westlake high school


josiah molden: 6' 180 lbs ballhawk cornerback from west linn high school in portlandia


jemari foreman: 6' 165 lbs quick twitch cornerback from plantation high school in florida




this is cal football (coming to ur town in 5 minutes from now)#
StillNoStanfurdium
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Through recruit visit posts (or if it was confirmed/announced elsewhere already), do we have an idea of who Cal's designated 10 assistant "off-site recruiting" coaches are? Tosh is allowed as the HC to visit in addition to the ten as far as I understand. By my count we've seen these coaches appear in off-sites so far.

  • Michael Hutchings - DC
  • Da-Von Brown - DB/Co-DC
  • Connor Boyd - Safeties
  • Darrion Daniels - DL/Pass Rush Specialist (Also needs to update Twitter profile to say Cal coach instead of Oregon)
  • Famika Anae - OL
  • Keith Bhonapha - RB/Recruiting Coordinator
  • Nick Rolovich - QB/Assistant Head Coach
  • ???
  • ???
  • ???
Seems to leave 3 spots to me with room to have a LB & WR specific coach and maybe either our OC or the pass/rush game specialists on the offense?

Edit:

Actually, if the above photo is indeed our full 11 coaches visiting Serra, I guess the other 3 would be:

  • (Second from Left) Jordan Somerville - OC
  • (Fourth from Right) Steve Haunga - TE/Run Game Coordinator? Best guess
  • (Leftmost) - Sione Ta'ufo'ou - Assistant ILB? Hardest to ID for me.
Shocky1
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^ sns, think the mystery poly coach (far left in foto) might be offensive tackles coach viane talamaivao

Shocky1
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after walking the opening round with xihuan, shocky tole chang that it wuz truly a great honor to watch such a gifted golfer play 18 holes of golf with an unreal pga level short game!!

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Shocky1
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california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2027 class:

giovanni hodge, edge defender (3.7 gpa)

2026 class:

roger vaderhoef, offensive lineman (3.5 gpa)
rico walker, tight end (3.1 gpa)
aj tuitele, linebacker (3.0 gpa)
joshua pierce, edge defender (3.5 gpa)
jayden williams, defensive line (3.1 gpa)
kamar mothudi, inside linebacker (3.3 gpa)
ricky "trenches" fletcher, defensive back (3.3 gpa)
jericho johnson, defensive tackle (3.0+ gpa)
emmanuel okoye, edge defender (strong student from nigeria)
jackson brosseau, quarterback (3.96 gpa)
angus davies, punter (honor roll student from australia)
daniel harris, cornerback (3.1 gpa)
ashton rivera, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
kahlee tafai, offensive lineman (3.15 gpa)
ashun shepphard, defensive line (3.0+ gpa)
cooper perry, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
towns mcgough, kicker (4.0 gpa)
marquis "mgk" groves-killebrew (3.3 gpa)
justin beadles, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
tristan jernigan, inside linebacker (3.0+ gpa)
jimothy lewis jr, offensive tackle (3.4 gpa)
michael hurst jr, safety (3.0+ gpa)
chase hendricks, wide receiver (3.21 gpa)
mykeal rabess, offensive lineman (3.68 gpa)
carter vargas, running back (3.2 gpa)
ashten emory, running back (3.7 gpa)
dorian thomas, tight end (3.6 gpa)
adam mohammed, running back (3.5 gpa)
kingston lopa, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
ian strong, wide receiver (3.75 gpa)
jacob arop, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
solomon williams, edge defender (3.0+ gpa)

niles davis, athlete (3.71 gpa)
daniel mcmorris, offensive tackle (3.8 gpa)
kai meza, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
tyree "reekus" sams, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
kamo'i huihui-white, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
nainoa lopes, quarterback (3.57 gpa)
kingston "lucky" schirmer, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
esaiah wong, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
frank fauna jr, defensive lineman (4.0 gpa)
emmanuel "ej" morgan, wide receiver/kick returner (4.3 gpa)
taimane purcell, tight end (3.9 gpa)
nemyah telona, defensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
victor santino, running back (3.0+ gpa)
elisha faamatuainu, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
jaxon pyatt, linebacker (3.4 gpa)
jonathan mckinley, linebacker (4.83 gpa)

2025 class (all former walk ons are now on schollys, CONGRATS!!):

aaron hampton, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
jordan king, wide receiver (4.38 gpa)
alonzo esparza, quarterback (4.0 gpa)
belay brummell, quarterback (3.95 gpa)
carson perry-smith, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
jayden parker, running back (4.16 gpa)
isaac torres, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
mayze bryant, defensive back (3.5 gpa)
jordan franke, longsnapper (3.81 gpa)
dean taylor-chapman, running back (4.0 gpa)
tobey weydemuller, defensive back (3.92 gpa)
jude mclellan, outside linebacker (3.9 gpa)
nate escalada, defensive back (4.23 gpa)
michael cooley, outside linebacker (3.0 gpa)
ewan arechaederra, longsnapper (3.6 gpa)
lucas vanderlind, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
bj jones, inside linebacker (3.55 gpa)
sam bjerke, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
cole bosica, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
myles reber, wide receiver (3.75 gpa)
jeffrey johnson, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jack olyphant, tight end (3.72 gpa)
rj stephens, defensive lineman (3.77 gpa)
dru polidore jr, safety (3.75 gpa)
michael kern, punter (3.4 gpa)

landon morris, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jayden dixon-veal, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
lj johnson, running back (3.7 gpa)
abram murray, kicker (4.0 gpa)
brent "paco" austin, corner/nickel (3.3 gpa)
jordan sanford, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
harrison taggart, linebacker (3.9 gpa)
chase meyer, kicker (4.3 gpa)
mark hamper, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
zae smith, defensive tackle (3.37 gpa)
daveion harley, offensive lineman (3.36 gpa)
kendrick raphael, running back (3.8 gpa)
quimari shemwell, corner/nickel back (3.0+ gpa)
brandon high jr, running back (3.3 gpa)
rino monteforte, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
tj bush, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
quaron adams, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
chris victor, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
jojo genova, offensive lineman (3.5 gpa)
erik peters, kicker (3.9 gpa)
devin brown, quarterback (4.4 gpa)
dazmin james, wide receiver (2.6 gpa)
justin hasenhuetl, interior offensive lineman (3.75 gpa)
jacob de jesus, wide receiver/kick returner (3.67 gpa)
caleb johnston, longsnapper (3.5 gpa)
simon mapa, tight end (3.47 gpa)
mason mini, tight end (3.8 gpa)
john gayer, edge defender (2.8 gpa)
jordon moko, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
jayden wayne, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
brook honoree jr, punter (3.8 gpa)
dominic ingrassia, quarterback (3.2 gpa)
jaron keawe sagapolutele, quarterback (3.75 gpa)
buom jock, inside linebacker (3.1 gpa)
leon bell, offensive tackle (3.1 gpa)
tristan dunn, safety (3.0 gpa)
lamar robinson, offensive guard (3.5 gpa)
tyson ruffins, interior offensive lineman (3.8 gpa)
lajuan owens, left tackle (3.2 gpa)
hezekiah masses, corner/nickel (2.7 gpa)
kyle cunanan, kicker (3.73 gpa)
tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (3.15 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)

khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (2.75 gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (2.7 gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)

david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
jaivian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.7 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv
Shocky1
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don't be a dumb azz (gambling is for losers, seriously)#
Shocky1
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^ white people r funny!!

while u get ur beauty sleep someone somewhere is getting better & when u meet they're gonna kick ur ******* azz sideways, got it??

giovanni gets it (before the dawn in a pitch dark universe)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CN3dPiEHYbl
^ this is NOT maxazillion's calm lake placid demeanor after today's day on the beach (literally)

2026 legoland classic at torrey pines: 1st round update

max homa (75, tied for 129th): yikes, only 1 for 6 on sand saves suggests a bunker practice tutorial sesh tomorrow morning with the monster before tackling the much easier north course with it's 4 scoreable/exploitable par 5s & 2 drivable par 4s...the great news is that max is driving the ball beautifully (10 of 14 fairways) & crushed 3 fantastic 3 woods from the fairways on the par 5s too

yeah a good nite's sleep is kinda important (unless ur a scary azz vampire or something)

https://instagr.am/p/DRZ_IZ7ie6N
Shocky1
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2027 high school recruiting update:


huge priority for the staff is 4 star physical lockdown defensive back 6'2" 185 lbs jayden avaricious-bailey from birmingham alabama

jayden is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 4.0 gpa

bro, do u wanna leave the deep south & it's low key racism and live on the west coast??



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (for those with an adventuresome spirit)
Shocky1
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whose the poly (tyson ruffins??) that "wanna be a paleontologist when ima grown up!!"??


^ modern yoga has unfairly evaluated shocky as a substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17) cuz he got t-rex arms & can't do a ******* handstand...**** me

this is cal football (ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DUH0K7DDDBG
california golden bears 80
notre dame fighting irish 69

the bears (13-9) wuz the deeper roster & mjracle sheppard led her teammates with 10 assists along with 18 points on a highly efficient 7 of 10 field goals

gisella maul is playing lockdown d along with scoring 16 points & is a legit contender for the acc's most improved player award

it's a shame that this FUN college women's basketball program is not growing the fanbase particularly with students which is critical for building a pipeline to future season tix buyers/donors (nil supporters) but that just validates the truth that just winning basketball games won't fill up the stands at haas pavilion without innovative targeted marketing campaigns in today's 6 second market economy

and that's never gonna happen with the current co athletic director ****tards jay & jenny (each making just south of $500,000 at a time of serious budget challenges in berkeley) who have worked against both the football & basketball programs for years

when is rich gonna throw out the trash??#

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
Goof Ball Bear
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This helps refute the argument that if we win, the crowds will magically come. I agree that our marketing is subpar, but it's a shame we can't draw organically. I'm in SoCal, so I'm wondering how places like St. Marys, Furd, USF, Santa Clara and SJS are drawing. Are all of the local teams struggling to draw for.basketball? We know Furd can't draw in football...
Shocky1
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goof ball, berkeley got 46,000+ students (33k undergrad & 13k grad) & therefore attendance numbers should not be compared to small private schools or a commuter school (sjs)

but yeah it's outdated (and delusional) marketing to think that just winning will magically bring fans to haas pavilion on gamedays, the men's team is a solid 15-6 (and a remarkable 13-2 at home with a powder puff non conference schedule) yet it's currently 17th in the acc in attendance (with an abysmal average of 3970) only ahead of stanford
https://theacc.com/stats.aspx?path=mbball&year=2025

and the women's team also got similar dysfunctional attendance woes despite a marketable superstar in australian lulu twidale which is a shame...last nite's FUN victory drew a pathetic 2357 against a national brand franchise program in notre dame, why is no-one held accountable within the athletic department??...the wnba valkyries averaged 18,064 this season so there's documented evidence of wild demand for women's basketball in the bay area that's currently untapped in berkeley

back in the cal monster class era we averaged 10,000+ on men's gamedays with frequent SOLD OUT roaring at haas EPIC gamedays!!



and here's the deal NOTHING is gonna change until chancellor lyons terminates the contracts of the worthless bureaucrats (both paid just south of $500,000 on an annual basis with no football responsibilities despite a financial tsunami heading towards berkeley due to slashing reductions in state & federal funding) jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil (who is truly evil as **** & hated both internally by the athletic department staff & donors for her malfeasance)

drawing fans & growing the student fanbase will require ENERGY & a focused targeted marketing plan in today's fiercely competitive 6 second economy, there's a ZERO chance that's gonna happen with the 2 current *****tards (who aggressively worked against the football program with general knowlton's protections, neither one of them is a berkeley grad) running the show

rich, is haas pavilion your palace?????????????????????

Shocky1
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2027 cal football quarterback recruiting update:


rolo, jordan & tosh are building relationships with current illinois commit 6'3" 220 lbs kamden lopati from west high school in salt lake city...lopati is also talking to michigan & notre dame



kamden is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa but is apparently unaware that polys thrive in warmer weather & not freezing azz level 7 hypothermia midwest winters!!


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (and the best athletic, academic & culture fit for polys on planet earth in the beautiful san francisco bay area with ZERO snow)

https://instagr.am/p/DRNzcVvjPFc
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DEgRuScR5yk
^ fun fact: tyson ruffins has been hired as the director of paleontology at legoland!!

2026 legoland classic at torrey pines: 2nd round update

max homa (70, missed cut): when max shoved right (heel coming up too quickly, not squaring up the stroke, also did this on his 3 jack par after driving the par 4 7th hole) a 4 foot birdie putt on his 10th hole of the day he knew it wuz all over so homa dipped into a port-a-potty & called the holiday inn express in national city to cancel his weekend room reservation

2026 phoenix open (which is actually held in north scottsdale 15 minutes from the monster's tree fort): shocky will be working with his cali bears next week to get them into positions to hoisting a championship trophy (or beer cans with joel dahmen in the parking lot) come sunday nite

among the shocky's coaching/mentoring points of focus:

michael kim: encouraging michael that if he's gonna snap hook his drives on the island green par 5 15th hole to stuff a couple of practice balls in his bag during the warm up sesh, trust me the thunderbirds are NOT keeping track of this ****

collin morikawa: critical that my fellow foodie pass on the FREE 30 day old deep fried barracuda in player dining
& instead take kat to one of schulzie's top 3 sushi spots in the valley of the sun:
1) across the pond (downtown phx on central avenue): tiny not well known spot with a great vibe with handcrafted cocktails
2) uchi (scottsdale old town): order the fried rice with mushrooms...warning: there's a lotta post asu boobage on display!!
3) nobu (scottsdale fashion square): the japanese a5 waygu that u cook urself on the 1000 degree lava rock is 60 bucks an ounce but worth it, best beef in the desert

max homa: quit ******* taking 3 dozen alex noren air swings on every hole, ur eventually gonna get sued by the swede for swing trademark infringement or inverse condensation or something...homa, r u even taking these imaginary swings while looking in the mirror & singing in the shower??

Shocky1
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CONFIDENTIAL message to cal centel (if this is not u, keep ur eyes on ur own ******* paper, got it??):

if ur moms is a cbyf1 & filled out the father section of ur birth certificate with "a real ******* dumb azz," please send me a private message so we can figure out thanksgiving with the fam in ibiza this year, ok??

https://instagr.am/p/CvVQj-RPjH_
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DUBb42MCIWz
https://instagr.am/p/DUJvYZBEqjX
^ also named to the acc all academic team but not included in this graphic are berkeley drop outs (no degrees) devin brown & luke ferrelli...braden miller earned a berkeley degree & is enrolled in post bachelor studies at duke

KAAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SMART as **** cali golden bears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


real talk: berkeley, stanford & the ivy league are DREAM schools that open the pathways to building generational wealth in an increasingly competitive global economy while football factories like oregon exploit & ultimately replace their low gpa disposable gladiators who are then living NIGHTMARES at age 30 with no legit career opportunities



don't be a dumb azz (wut's ur gpa??)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DDam0D5SZ4V
^ fun fact: shocky luvs animals more than most human beings!!

WELCOME all 2027 high school prospects to today's PREMIERE junior day in berkeley!!

while the 1st weekend in january 2027 ELITE junior day wuz primarily focused on nor cal today's 2027 PREMIERE junior day is also targeting so cal & west coast prospects leaning into the 9th island's inclusive POLY culture (yeah that probably means chef benji is gonna be busy grilling)

among the 2027 (unless noted) headliners:

troy bowens: #1 prospect on the staff's overall big board apex predator edge defender from sutter creek high school

honor fa'alave-johnson: the top safety in the nation, this is basically a tosh keenan allen jr recruitment all over again...the staff needs to show honor a couple of scripted plays where honor playing both ways gets the ball in his hands on offense with a swing pass or something from his brah jaron

giovanni hodge: the 3.7 gpa MONSTER offensive lineman from grant high school is a CAL COMMIT!!

sione tu'amohola-keo: the #1 ranked qb on the rolo/jordan big board from the freezing azz northwest, polys thrive in warmer weather than low gpa ****holes like eugene

brady edmonds: current ohio state commit qb from huntington beach high school

duvay williams: lockdown corner/nickel from so cal powerhouse serra high school

jeovanni henley: physical defensive back from the peninsula's serra high school

malakai taufoou: +1 athletic baller with speed from the bay area's serra high school

clint lundin: wrestling background offensive lineman from delasalle high school

deshawn streeter: solidly constructed offensive lineman from antioch high school

josh bunni: road grading offensive lineman from cardinal newman high school

zion cargill: soft hands wideout from cardinal newman high school

lue deberry: violent interior defensive lineman from folsom high school

miles schirmer: huge priority (bro is kingston "lucky") high motor defensive lineman from centennial high school in corona

alifeleti tuihalamaka: destructive defensive lineman from oaks christian high school

charles davis: nightmare match up with length wideout from oaks christian high school

cooper cook: unblockable defensive end from tustin high school

sevelino taliuli: scrappy edge defender from servite high school

jacob whitehead: elite corner/nickel from st john bosco high school

evan mack, caden jones, ty johnson & jacob whitehead from crean lutheran high school

jaden jefferson: playmaking quarterback from centennial high school in corona

zion white: soft hands wideout with length from the img academy in bradenton florida

ezra sanelivi: dynamic homerun running back from liberty high school in henderson nevada

jai jones: playmaking athlete from chandler high school

jaylen fitzgerald: son of larry is a +1 athletic from elite academic brophy high school in phoenix

talan scott: mobile tight end from american leadership academy in queen creek arizona

jalanie george: #1 ranked defender in the 2028 class from desert edge high school in goodyear arizona!!

jaelyn easterling-flores: 2028 safety with length from desert edge high school (arizona)

koa malau'ulu: 2028 qb priority from esteemed st john bosco high school

micah hannah: 2028 lockdown corner/nickel from simi valley high school

jordan slye jr: 2028 high iq defensive back from salesian high school in los angeles

pole moala: 2028 speed safety from leuzinger high school in lawndale

landon miller: 2028 +1 athletic linebacker from delasalle high school

julian "juju" bruno: 2028 16 year old high gpa fast developing linebacker from grant high school

max tuiileila: 2028 feisty offensive lineman from grant high school

amarion taylor: 2028 productive wide receiver from tulare western high school

eazy crichton: 2028 run stuffing defensive tackle from cardinal newman high school

jamar howard: 2028 playmaking quarterback from clovis west high school in fresno

drew cumby: 2028 skilled quarterback from st francis high school in mountain view

kaleb aiava, elisha mueller & keiden lokeni 2028 from bellflower high school

austin miller & david nanson: 2029 +1 athletes from bellflower high school

amar'e hodge: 2029 (bro is giovanni) offensive lineman from grant high school, youngest invitee!!

and hopefully inglewood's singer/actress1 becky g will trip to berkeley too!!

https://instagr.am/p/DQVTgs6gX1f

^ trust the monster, it's way ******* better to have backstage access/viewing at coachella than singing along/watching the big screen cuz u can't see **** in row 139!!
BearCam
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Maybe we should have used more pitch outs:

Shocky1
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2026 cal football PREMIERE day:











https://instagr.am/p/CseNnxvLMXC
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DUL2JcUD6sO
^ brah carries a 2 iron!!

xihuan, yeah it's smart to keep your clubs protected during their travels but it's way more important to play 18 hole walking rounds (usually a twosome but maybe sometimes a threesome) in less than 3 hours like shocky!!

https://instagr.am/p/DSS2jiuCUk1
let's ******* go (it's dinnertime somewhere in the world for them cbyf1s)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DMgT0gs0uOm
wifeisafurd
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StillNoStanfurdium said:

Through recruit visit posts (or if it was confirmed/announced elsewhere already), do we have an idea of who Cal's designated 10 assistant "off-site recruiting" coaches are? Tosh is allowed as the HC to visit in addition to the ten as far as I understand. By my count we've seen these coaches appear in off-sites so far.

  • Michael Hutchings - DC
  • Da-Von Brown - DB/Co-DC
  • Connor Boyd - Safeties
  • Darrion Daniels - DL/Pass Rush Specialist (Also needs to update Twitter profile to say Cal coach instead of Oregon)
  • Famika Anae - OL
  • Keith Bhonapha - RB/Recruiting Coordinator
  • Nick Rolovich - QB/Assistant Head Coach
  • ???
  • ???
  • ???
Seems to leave 3 spots to me with room to have a LB & WR specific coach and maybe either our OC or the pass/rush game specialists on the offense?

Edit:

Actually, if the above photo is indeed our full 11 coaches visiting Serra, I guess the other 3 would be:

  • (Second from Left) Jordan Somerville - OC
  • (Fourth from Right) Steve Haunga - TE/Run Game Coordinator? Best guess
  • (Leftmost) - Sione Ta'ufo'ou - Assistant ILB? Hardest to ID for me.


GMac will be involved heavily in SoCal recruiting visits for obvous reasons, as well Conner Boyd (pictured)..
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C6J9rxHtJ4h
^ the green in the foreground is for the downhill par 4 16th hole, then the 17th is a short par 3 traversing the fjord inlet followed by the walk across the bridge to the tee box of the dogleg right EPIC par 4 18th hole with the spectacular mountain in the background...fun fact: shocky played a 2nd round in a day as a single teeing off at 1:00 am (with the only difference being that the greens retain ocean moisture & putt quite a bit slower) putting out on the final green at 3:35 am in the morning...fun fact deux: there is no room for golf carts on the narrow walking paths, norwegians like walking doggy dogs & are not cartballers

world top 100 golf does NOT include ****holes like stillwater (do u got ur passport for the 2026 summer of love??)#


https://top100golf.blogspot.com/2006/01/people-who-have-played-top-100-golf.html

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the beautiful people of norway)
Shocky1
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will be interesting to see if the ncca rules luke ferrelli & his dad ineligible for the 2026 season

FAFO#
NVBear78
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Shocky1 said:

will be interesting to see if the ncca rules luke ferrelli & his dad ineligible for the 2026 season

FAFO#


Is that being speculated somewhere, hadn't heard that previously?
Shocky1
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^ jeff, if the dabo (who has a reputation for being a straight shooter in the deep south college football cesspool) version of facts that he recited at this week's press conference (which reads like a federal indictment with it's details of events/timeline) are accurate, the ferrelli's tried to sell/monetize the ole miss tampering texts from the head coach to clemson via an increased tigers nil deal to basically testify against the crooks in oxford

dirty as ****#
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