today is earth day, more than a billion concerned people around planet earth are participating in events revolving around global warming, sustainability & environmental pollution
don't close ur ******* eyes, the recent devastating windstorms in hawaii, the someday uninhabitable air pollution in los angeles and the flooding in the streets/subways of new york city depicted in this "futuristic" video are all actually happening NOW!!
anybody who has evah walked doggy dogs with the shockster, walked 18 holes with him or traversed the berkeley campus on foot knows that the monster picks up EVERY piece of trash/litter he sees, that's my ******* responsibility, got it??
private message to lex mailangi (if ur not him keep ur eyes on ur own ******* paper, got it??):
lex ur arguably the top high school offensive lineman in the 2027 class, u got unlimited school options & next level upside with the right NFL level developmental coaching (which involves starting early in ur collegiate career)
but guess wut??...oregon got 15+ offensive lineman on the ducks roster like tommy tofi & koloi keli that all been tole they r gonna be starters in eugene (polys don't thrive in freezing azz weather), the math just don't work that way brah
ur literally one violent injury away from football being done with you forevah & at that time low academic football factories like oregon move on very quickly from their disposable gladiators which means ur gonna be 30 years old working for tips parking my wheels at chateau marmont at 1:30 am after a nite out at tao, u feel me brah??
u gotta opportunity to play in an inclusive poly culture in berkeley (an hour flight on southwest for the fam on fall gamedays) with a staff that can get u to the NFL with a potential early starting opportunity (not a 15 player ducks ****show) & with that ELITE educational opportunity also comes a serious responsibility someday for u to protect the most VULNERABLE in society
lex, i promise u, this **** is not that complicated
namaste
https://instagr.am/p/DSspPFOEu1L ^ shocky rescued benji & his sister beauty from the streets of south phoenix with lucky leashes, what's in ur heart??
chase meyer missed from 42 & 52 yards which wuz apparently the only 2 field goals attempted
the 2026 season could potentially be derailed (just like the last several years) if place-kicking is an issue again for the bad news bears special teams, it wuz truly a major **** up by longwell, wilcox & cherrington to not work with me in finding a solution to keeping mateen bhaghani in berkeley (wanted to apply to the haas biz school) when his parents approached the monster for an intervention when the staff 100% reneged on a promised scholly if bhaghani won the starting kicking job (which he clearly did)
but the "insiders" will tell u the monster don't know ****
a major targeted priority for cal's monster offensive line is the #1 ranked interior lineman from the aloha state 6'5" 305 lbs isaiah bertola from campbell high school in ewa beach (just like the bears humble faith based lefty qb1)
Thank you @AnaeCoach for coming over to meet the fam we appreciate your time and the knowledge you passed on to us!! Safe travels#GoBears pic.twitter.com/xjXhYSMfmm
byu: do u really want to sign the student code of conduct contract & live in snowy freezing azz provo, r u aware that polys don't thrive in cold weather??...how long/how much are flights from honolulu to salt lake city??
cal: #1 ranked public university in the world with a poly inclusive culture on the 9th island, ur mental health should always be a priority...NFL development starts with trusted coaching & an early starting opportunity, the bears are likely gonna start 2 seniors & a blueshirt junior in the 3 interior offensive line positions this fall
usc: well funded program but approximately 26.85% of the bull**** that comes outta grifter lincoln riley's mouth is truthful...fact checking everything he tells u is a wise/prudent course of action
field: highly competitive kinda like a ncca regional, 11 of the 15 teams are ranked higher than our cali bears
today: only my brah ziqin zhou controlled his ball at the architecturally mediocre norman designed architorture shark's tooth, z shot an outstanding 69 (tied for 5th with many elite collegiate players) by taking care of biz on the par 5s by birdieing all 4 of them offset only by a lone bogey...let's go z!!
rest of the team: everybody did not execute damage control with one bear with 1 double bogey & the rest of the team with 2 double bogeys...you cannot score in championship golf with blow up holes
goal: qualify for the top 8 match play after the 3 rounds, it's a journey not a race so patience is gonna be necessary
current team standing: stand alone 11th place, 3 strokes behind a 3 way tie between virginia (ranked #2 in the nation), clemson & florida state for the coveted 8th spot
hesiman trophy winner/berkeley haas business school grad (in a remarkable 3 years) fernando mendoza is the FIRST PICK in the 2026 nfl draft in steel town!!
Fernando Mendoza’s favorite golfer is Collin Morikawa because they are both Cal alums and they both love Cal 💛💙 pic.twitter.com/KZh6HTsQPo
yeah it's time to move on without azz hurt feelings, we all do & say stoooopid **** (caca) sometimes, nando loves berkeley!!
and yeah coach lup needs to invite fernando to be on the cal sideline during the bears saturday october 3rd roadie at allegiant stadium vs them unlv rebels to continue growing out the cal football brand
mendoza joins a distinguished list of haas b school grads with a litany of accomplishments:
*****a hesiman trophy & 1st selection in the nfl draft *****a golfer who has already won 2 MAJORS (and if he gets a yoga/meditation practice to rectify his 100% avoidable back issues will win a 3rd major, book it dano) *****the current chancellor of the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD (sadly this individual wishes he wuz instead a lounge singer guitarist1 (lsg1) playing stones cover songs on friday nites at the livermore holiday inn express) *****a dumb azz who has played the last 17 world top 100 golf courses lists *****the future football head coach in training *****the men's hall of fame golf coach who transitioned the program from a club sport to a national championship *****a high gpa cbyf1 who has won the miss california title *****thousands of grads from around the globe who have built GENERATIONAL WEALTH!!
https://instagr.am/p/DTA6amBDYxO yeah and the great news is that now nando can afford to take his beautiful family to sexy fish in brickell for FUN dinners, just hoping our cali bear don't order the 30 day old deep fried barracuda or something
that would be a major **** up!!
https://instagr.am/p/DCATLGfSc3f life is NOT linear# ^ the monster is absolutely crushing it by writing fortune cookie inserts as a side gig to pay unpaid bills (r u paying attention miles??)!!
today is earth day, more than a billion concerned people around planet earth are participating in events revolving around global warming, sustainability & environmental pollution
don't close ur ******* eyes, the recent devastating windstorms in hawaii, the someday uninhabitable air pollution in los angeles and the flooding in the streets/subways of new york city depicted in this "futuristic" video are all actually happening NOW!!
anybody who has evah walked doggy dogs with the shockster, walked 18 holes with him or traversed the berkeley campus on foot knows that the monster picks up EVERY piece of trash/litter he sees, that's my ******* responsibility, got it??
r u a sierra club member/donor??
The branch campus in Davis used to have a weekend long 'Earth Day' event annually, I've been away so long I am not sure if they're still doing it or not. When I was leisurely attending grad school there in the mid '80's I volunteered for one Earth Day event. I was assigned to help out around the stage. The emcee was the legendary Wavy Gravy. He'd acted in a similar capacity at Woodstock, and was one of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters. Just a nice guy and very kind and down to earth (no pun intended).
fun fact: current new jersey nets scout (and a guest of mine on a fall football gameday) sir richard midgley's cbyf1 wife is a haas biz ad grad!!
new championship collegiate basketball biz model: arizona head coach tommy lloyd will now contractually report directly to the school president re: nil, his compensation & staff/operational budgets and NOT the athletic director (but tuscon is still a ******* dump)
runs in the family (gpas don't matter): jordyn tyson (#8 pick by the new orleans saints) wuz flunking outta asu when he declared for the nfl draft just like his older bro jaylon (#20 pick by the cleveland cavaliers) wuz flunking outta cal when he declared for the nba draft, reading books & **** is for losers!!
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on planet earth (ucla is a solid choice for those denied admission to berkeley, stanford & the ivy league)
2026 acc mens golf championship in swampland florida: 2nd round update
https://instagr.am/p/DXh7YYClGbt ^ the cal "communications" employee (james huston) assigned by tired worthless bureaucrat non berkeley grad jonathan okanes (who should be laid off like the rest of his lazy azz/non innovative team who got zero interest in authentic storytelling, it would be a major **** up by the hard working beth tafolla-voetsch to retain him) has put in approximately 45 minutes of work in the last 12 months covering cal men's golf
ziqin zhou (69, 6 under par total, tied for 3rd): z, now is ur time to breakthrough on one of golf's biggest stages at one of the worstest cathedrals of swampland golf!!...just keep doing what ur doing with ur always focused yet relaxed demeanor and yeah ur now a perfect 8 for 8 in draining birdie 4s on the exploitable/scoreable par 5s at the shark's tooth...ur tiger moms & the shockster know ur 100% capable of winning the acc individual championship title manana, vamos amigo!!
— Asia-Pacific Amateur Championship (@AAC_Golf) October 6, 2024
charlie bundy (71, tied for 30th): my fellow haas biz ad bro is a steely eyed competitor with 4 birds today & most importantly no double bogeys...yeah that's controlling ur ball, keep it rolling charlie!!
the top 8 teams after tomorrow's round advance to match play, the cali bears still gotta chance!!
tied for 6th: clemson +1 tied for 6th: smu +1 tied for 6th: georgia tech +1 tied for 6th: florida state +1 10th carolina state +3 11th cal +5
2026 joe's stone crabs south beach tournament: field update
https://instagr.am/p/DXemxmEDjE- john homa's non impulse control son is gonna compete along with michael "mr 62" kim & collin morikawa (if kat isn't delivering their baby) at the gil hanse renovated blue monster next week
max is currently #117 in the official world golf rankings, the top 100 after doral get an invitation to the 2026 pga championship at aronomink in philly so homa needs around a top 10 finish in miami to play in the next major...let's do this, dodger boy!!
2026/2027 pga tour schedule: update
very sad news that the 2027 early january hawaii events at c&c's fabulous kapalua plantation in maui & then the st louis high school tourney in diamond head are now off the pga schedule along with this fall's september silverado tourney in yountville...the world is always changing, r u adapting??
the great news is that we can all attend the black desert tourney (october 1st-4th) in st george utah (around 2 hours from the strip) this fall before the cal bears unlv roadie at allegiant stadium probably on the evening of saturday october 3rd
in a sense we are ALL boyz of summer (and that includes them cbyf1s & doggy dogs too), r we 100% pursuing our passions with no regrets??
^ despite a current $305,000,000 contract plus significant well cultivated off court biz enterprise earnings, my yoga bro jb donates ZERO dollars to the cal hoops program (**** around with cal's monster class & find out)
the bears db staff is prioritizing length & SPEED and is therefore prioritizing lockdown corner/nickel darius johnson from murietta valley high school...johnson's dad derrick played for the 49ers back in the day & will hopefully be accompanying his gifted son on a back to the bay official visit to berkeley on may 28-june 1st
darius is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa
the TAKERS get PAID in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE#
CONGRATS to zeke getting drafted in the 5th round as the 175th pick by them las vegas raiders!!
and yeah shocky don't know **** about nfl player evaluations, the monster thought that the masses flag football touch tackling would prevent him from hearing his named called today, stfu shocky!!
darius, it's true, the TAKERS get PAID in the nfl!!
Cal CB Hezekiah Masses, who was just drafted by the Raiders, on his time in Berkeley:
“Man, Cal did a lot for me. Ain’t nothing (else) I can ask for. They got me bigger, stronger … prepared me the right way on the field and off the field.” pic.twitter.com/dGOPMITrHI
coach lup, let's get zeke back on the cal sidelines with his former teammates when the bears travel to allegiant stadium vs unlv on saturday october 3rd, got it??
https://instagr.am/p/DXkMYVXiT_g ^ not gonna lie, if shocky wuz in nando shoes he would've ignored/bypassed the **** outta the old white guys & instead warmly greeted/embraced the 3 cbyf1 raiderette ambassadors and asked them for their local yoga studio recommendations!!
just win baby (in the raiders section in the south endzone at memorial stadium on fall gamedays)!!#
https://instagr.am/p/DTd5cYqkryR thx 51 but let's not be distracted/lose sight of the fact that the monster 100% wuz WRONG re: zeke's nfl draftability as a cb/nb1!!
yeah shocky is a ******* dumb azz like them fake azz blondes, got it??
https://instagr.am/p/DXgBZsMD_2x just glad masses is going to a quality nfl organization (keep in mind that shocky watched 45 minutes of nfl football this season, schulzy got his own criteria for evaluating teams)
my brah sophmore economics major ziqin zhou is the 2026 acc individual men's champion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
z battled the elements (rain squalors) with 3 bogies in his first 4 holes but just continued to battle like a doggy dog eventually shooting a clutch 70 to go with his earlier rounds of 69 & 69 and finish in a 3 way tie for 1st at 8 under par at the shark's tooth (course rating from the tips is 74.6)...making 11 birdies & a par on the 12 par 5s this tourny wuz a key metric in this elite scoring
zhou (draining an UNREAL do or die 23 footer for a matching birdie 3 with cui on the 1st playoff hole) then won the 2 hole playoff over duke's ethan evans (eliminated after a par 4 on the 1st playoff hole, the par 4 18th hole) & stanford's edan cui (rattled/shaken up by z's 23 footer then hooked his drive outta play on the 2nd playoff hole en route to a 8, the par 5 17th hole) to capture the conference championship title!!
z is focused yet relaxed kinda like collin morikawa & michael kim with a positive attitude (max homa plays his best golf when he's not angry at himself), he rolls the ball beautifully with his putter & zhou hits an unreal low ball trajectory bullet fairway finding 2 iron around 275+ yards
what's the only thing holding ziqin back??
z missed time earlier this season with back issues, he's got an amazing/adorable tiger moms (who loves him dearly and wants him to do great things academically/athletically & is his #1 cheerleader along with the shockster) who is also encouraging him to develop a yoga/meditation practice
https://instagr.am/p/DShv7PDCSSo ^ luv this guy, hopefully his undersized bears teammates are gonna follow in his footsteps in counting daily protein grams, significantly intensifying s&c workouts & starting yoga/meditation practices (how bad do u want to be a champion??)
https://instagr.am/p/DXkkv3PAEoq in case you haven't figured it out yet, this is the GOLDEN AGE ERA for cal golf at both the highest collegiate and professional levels!!...como tele vous mon ami callixte (merci beaucoup to haas biz ad grad frenchman pro golfer joel stalter for connecting monsieur alzas with the bears staff)??
the magic of cal golf (involves high gpa hard working passionate +1 athletes successfully competing on the game's largest stages at the cathedrals of golf, ok the shark's tooth isn't architecturally that great but u get the point)#
BREAKING: Class of 2027 RB Jaxsen Stokes has Flipped his Commitment from Oklahoma to Cal, he tells me for @Rivals⁰ The 5’9 195 RB had been Committed to the Sooners since November
WELCOME 5'9" 195 lbs with SPEED rb1 jaxsen stokes from sierra canyon high school!!
https://instagr.am/p/DXm29pFAfJF stokes is flipping from oklahoma which has incurred devastating seasonal tornadoes the last couple of days, it's mind boggling to think that any non white high schooler from cali would want to live in low key racist backwards azz oklahoma but gotta give the sooners credit for their carefully managed recruiting visits that prey upon naive young men that don't got parental guidance (stokes got a great moms & dad that prioritizes academic achievement and mental health but that's not the case for a lotta hs stars)
jaxsen is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.7 gpa and an actionable offer from stanford
^ uneducated white people in redneck norman & stillwater r funny (until it's not funny at all)
and let's be real here, both norman & stillwater are absolute ugly azz ****hole non academic football factory towns that move on quickly from their disposable gladiators that leaves them ****** at age 30 working nite shift security at lax...r u paying attention kasi and marcus??
1.🇬🇧 Oxford 2.🇺🇸 Stanford 3.🇺🇸 MIT 4.🇺🇸 Harvard 5.🇬🇧 Cambridge 6.🇺🇸 Princeton 7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology 8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London 9.🇺🇸 Berkeley 10.🇺🇸 Yale
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (and a safe non tornado hour flight on southwest for the fam on fall gamedays)
^ fun story: shocky took shay on a michigan world top 100 golf daddy/daughter roadtrip (crystal downs, oakland hills, franklin hills, meadowbrook, indianwood, kingsley, greywalls, forest dunes & arcadia bluff) with her serving as my caddie ($150 bucks per loop, the pine valley going rate, plus a pga/high gpa bonus at the end of the trip) to help her save up some money before attending denver law school
so the 1st nite out we're in downtown detroit checking out a brand new ramen place when leaving we see a bunch of walking traffic towards the arena...shay asks me do i think it's a baseball game or something??...dad says no, most of the young ladies are wearing dresses showing half of their boobs/azzs
shay checks her phone & says it's a concert next door do we wanna go??
we got nothing going on so dad says sure & shay buys 2 tixs with her phone for the front row
anyways it's drake (who as a canadian across the border view spent a lotta time in detroit) & migos (the shockster realized he ****** up his career choices, he should've been a "hype" man who basically got no musical talent but amps up the crowd by yelling **** like "croc pot" or "drop top" while jumping up & down like a dumb azz)
there's a guy standing by us ready to go on stage next, shocks tells the guy he's the only guy in the arena whose more excited to hear t-grizzly (america's storyteller) than that loser drake!!...shay tells t-grizzly that's 100% true, that cal's monster class has always featured his music, t thinks this **** is funny as **** as we talk for maybe 5 minutes & fist bumps the MONSTER before he's introduced by drake as "detroit's greatest mother******" and runs on stage!!
right now there's almost NONE of that going on in berkeley under the tired "leadership" of outdated bureaucrat jonathan okanes (non berkeley grad) other than the player development storytelling by the wildly innovative valerie grimaldo (berkeley grad) with respects to the football program & men's golf head coach michael wilson (berkeley grad)
so the COMPLETE clearing house of the failing communications & creative services departments by talented/hard working beth tafolla-voetsch makes a lotta sense...it's hard to tell a story if u don't know **** about the people and got a sense of place, that's why hiring berkeley grads is critical (ron, rich & coach lup working with kevin kennedy)...perhaps the 1st question in the interviewing process should be "where's strawberry creek??"
the existential future of the athletic department (and the university's #1 world ranking) is riding on these hires as a devastating financial tsunami from declining state & federal funding is rapidly heading towards berkeley at a time of conference relegations during the next 24 months
real talk: australian lulu twisdale is the most MARKETABLE cal women's athlete of my lifetime & other than a couple dozen sr citizens nobody can name a single person on the current men's basketball team (it wuz not always that way in berkeley)
https://instagr.am/p/DXnXO0ZiWcd and that's no bueno at a time when a professionally marketed basketball organization across the bay is selling out a pre season game with 18,046 SCREAMING FANS!!
sione, a 4.0 gpa mind is a terrible thing to waste, why would a poly wanna live in a redneck ****hole like low key racist norman for 4-5 years??
assuming there's no tornadoes, how much time & money is it gonna cost ur family to see you on fall gamedays??
oklahoma is not cali in terms of diversity and/or weather, best wishes for ur future mental health as u take the next big step to ******* up ur life at an academically worthless football factory that regards u as a disposable gladiator at the end of the day
the shockster's favorite is diamonds are forever because it got a cbyf1 with a low cut purple dress showing plenty of boobage plus the music reminds me of back in the day when the bears started 4 future nba hoopers (plus j-mat) that wuz recruited by the monster!!
^ fun fact: taylor is holding her dumb azz dad's wrist to make sure he don't get a technical foul for leading the amped up beaaaaarrrrsss fans in STORMING THE COURT (again) after them cali bears defeated the #1 ranked arizona wildcats (coached by our evil as **** arch nemesis the donut boy of tuscon, tho the shockster also engaged in multiple winning recruiting battles against criminal dana altman & rapist enabler steve alford too)!!
sean connery fun fact: augusta national's sommelier tole me during a tour of the underground wine cellar on my last visit that 007 is the only person to evah decline a club membership invitation!!
the staff is keeping a close eye (no official visit scheduled at this time) on fast developing 16 year old 6'4" 205 lbs football/hoops +1 athletic linebacker elyjah staples jr from marquez high school in huntington park
elyjah gonna official trip to berkeley june 15th fun fact: with a 4.2 gpa elyjah is smarter than the berkeley bears head coach in case you haven't figured it out yet!!
right now there's almost NONE of that going on in berkeley under the tired "leadership" of outdated bureaucrat jonathan okanes (non berkeley grad) other than the player development storytelling by the wildly innovative valerie grimaldo (berkeley grad) with respects to the football program & men's golf head coach michael wilson (berkeley grad)
so the COMPLETE clearing house of the failing communications & creative services departments by talented/hard working beth tafolla-voetsch makes a lotta sense...it's hard to tell a story if u don't know **** about the people and got a sense of place, that's why hiring berkeley grads is critical (ron, rich & coach lup working with kevin kennedy)...perhaps the 1st question in the interviewing process should be "where's strawberry creek??"
the existential future of the athletic department (and the university's #1 world ranking) is riding on these hires as a devastating financial tsunami from declining state & federal funding is rapidly heading towards berkeley at a time of conference relegations during the next 24 months
BAD ******* NEWS: beth tafolla-voetsch tole me today that worthless bureaucrat associate athletic director for communications jonathan okanes will NOT be laid off & it appears he will be actually running point on the strawberry creek studios!!
okanes is a former newspaper hack who wrote down scoring plays, threw in a couple of quotes from the press conference & called it a day...check out his twitter which does not identify him as affiliated with cal athletics in any way (this is his only social media post since september of 2024)
Two of the absolute Giants. Great at their craft, even better people. Will both be missed and remembered. https://t.co/25Velbz5sx
beth is basically rearranging the chairs on the titanic, might as well bring in markeisha & general knowlton to finish the job with cronyism ruling the day once again in the cal athletics department
and the biggest losers in this deal are the cal men's & women's hoops programs which will NOT reach new fans under 30 years of age & grow the fan/donor base!!
strawberry creek studios is ******!!
GOOD NEWS: without fans (and okanes has never grown the fanbase during his time overseeing the bloated overstaffed lazy azz communications department, cal basketball is screwed & heading towards a nobody gives 2 ***** west coast centric conference
which means shocky will have much more time to develop as a substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17) at modern yoga and/or get a new sport like cross country nordic track skiing or something
brrhhhh, the shockster (like most polys) don't like cold weather for more than 48 hours (sorry taylor, ur dad is not gonna move to nyc)!!
Love 007, but A View To A Kill might have been the worst...
Moonraker had me in hysterics because it was so corny... but I don't think it being a comedy was the intent.
I think the bottom two are View To A Kill and Never Say Never Again, both actors were simply too old for the role. One redeeming thing about VTAK is that it features the only Bond theme song to hit #1 on the charts. For the top movies I am biased towards the older films featuring my home of Hong Kong. For Connery that's You Only Live Twice, and for Moore it's The Man With The Golden Gun. I had the pleasure of visiting The Bottoms Up Bar featured in the TMWTGG, both in the original TST location and later in Wan Chai before it closed some years ago. Sir Roger came through HK to promote his autobiography and I got him to sign an original poster for TMWTGG.
Absolutely: I'll go five deep Skyfall Casino Royale (Daniel Craig version) From Russia With Love Goldfinger On Her Majesty's Secret Service (you have to watch this one about ten times to appreciate it)
I tend to lean towards the Bonds with some sort of plausible storyline. I agree that the actors were too old in VTAK and Never Say Never. I'll even add Diamonds Are Forever to that sorry collection. Sorry Shocky, but dude was too old and the story silly but yeah the Bond girls as always were muy bonitas! But of the 25 Bonds, I absolutely love maybe 20 of them.
When I was at Cal, they used to have two separate weekends of Bond features. There were 2 or 3 movies played per night on Friday and Saturday nights in chronological order starting with Dr No. It would go on all night getting out at 2 or 3am. People would be snoring... Lol! Back then, I think there 14 of them at the time.
