Shocky1 said:

---

cal portal entrant:

After conversations with the new staff, I have decided to enter the transfer portal, with a no contact tag and 1 year of eligibility remaining. Thank you to Coach Wilcox, Coach Frisina, and everyone on the previous staff at Cal for an incredible year.
2 Corinthians 5:7 ❤️ pic.twitter.com/WHMimOEq1p

— Rino Monteforte (@RinoMonteforte1) January 6, 2026

Love my family, this team, and Cal Nation for making a difference last night❗️Incredible coast to coast turnout, let’s keep this thing going❗️#GoBears🐻 pic.twitter.com/tHOf5HnvB9

— Rino Monteforte (@RinoMonteforte1) September 28, 2025

sorry to see rino leaving my alma mater

---

Interesting that he is using the no contact tag, that usually means he already knows where he is going.

CAL football moving crazy in the Portal

— Prentiss Reid - Coach P (@CoachSkills101) January 7, 2026

umunhum, yeah the last bear from amador valley wuz linebacker harrison mayo during the jared goff era, good chance the staff will have a qb2 by this time tomorrow nite

have u teed it up at the completely renovated (by architect jay blasi, the mastermind behind chamber's bay in tacoma & twin dolphins in cabo san lucas) poppy ridge in livermore??...the fotos look fabulous and blasi apparently tightened up the routing to make it more walkable, looking forward to getting out there this spring to check it out

https://instagr.am/p/DRxjoIkkrNU
^ notice that there is no strip of rough protecting the fairway bunkers, crooked azz drives are gonna run/funnel into the hazards which is an old school design characteristic of all the fabulous melbourne australia sandbelt gems like royal melbourne east & west, kingston heath, victoria, commonwealth, etc

do u got any pleasanton/livermore restaurant recommendations for a pre round lunch, post round dinner or special desert??

Cal is set to hire ex-Sacramento State defensive line coach Eddy McGilvra, a source tells @CBSSports.

Was key in Sac ranking sixth in the FCS in sacks in 2025. Is also well-known for his work as a private DL coach with NFL clients like Laiatu Latu, Mason Graham and Jared Verse. pic.twitter.com/st657UVhqg

— Matt Zenitz (@mzenitz) January 7, 2026

real talk: bears d-linemen are gonna ATTACK, no more "engage" the o-line bull**** (coaching amateur hour is over in berkeley)#

current bears in the transfer portal:

chase meyer
brook honore jr
rino monteforte
jordan spasojevic-moko
jacob houseworth
landon morris (wake forest)
kendrick raphael
braden miller (duke)
cade uluave
daz james
ryan mcculloch (ucla)
kaden cook
eze osundu (utsa)
daveion harley
harrison taggart
abram murray
belay brummel
ike okafor (washington state)
cam sidney
lajuan owens
luke ferrelli (clemson)
nate burrell (withdrawn)
devin brown
brandon high jr
tj bush (minnesota)
nick morrow (kansas)
michael kern
leon bell
ej caminong
curlee thomas
buom jock



young, dumb & broke (at age 30)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna do the hard work, this **** is NOT easy)

Best Universities in the World, 2024:

1.🇬🇧 Oxford
2.🇺🇸 Stanford
3.🇺🇸 MIT
4.🇺🇸 Harvard
5.🇬🇧 Cambridge
6.🇺🇸 Princeton
7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology
8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London
9.🇺🇸 Berkeley
10.🇺🇸 Yale

Times Higher Education

— World of Statistics (@stats_feed) April 29, 2024

california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2026 class:

justin beadles, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
tristan jernigan, inside linebacker (3.0+ gpa)
jimothy lewis jr, offensive tackle (3.4 gpa)
michael hurst jr, safety (3.0+ gpa)
chase hendricks, wide receiver (3.21 gpa)
mykeal rabess, offensive lineman (3.68 gpa)
carter vargas, running back (3.2 gpa)
ashten emory, running back (3.7 gpa)
dorian thomas, tight end (3.6 gpa)
adam mohammed, running back (3.5 gpa)
kingston lopa, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
ian strong, wide receiver (3.75 gpa)
jacob arop, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
solomon williams, edge defender (3.0+ gpa)
niles davis, athlete (3.71 gpa)
daniel mcmorris, offensive tackle (3.8 gpa)
kai meza, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ernest nunley, corner/nickel (3.25 gpa)
tyree "reekus" sams, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
kamo'i huihui-white, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
nainoa lopes, quarterback (3.57 gpa)
kingston "lucky" schirmer, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
esaiah wong, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
frank fauna jr, defensive lineman (4.0 gpa)
emmanuel "ej" morgan, wide receiver/kick returner (4.3 gpa)
taimane purcell, tight end (3.9 gpa)
nemyah telona, defensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
victor santino, running back (3.0+ gpa)
elisha faamatuainu, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
jaxon pyatt, linebacker (3.4 gpa)
jonathan mckinley, linebacker (4.83 gpa)

2025 class (all former walk ons are now on schollys, CONGRATS!!):

aaron hampton, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
jordan king, wide receiver (4.38 gpa)
alonzo esparza, quarterback (4.0 gpa)
belay brummell, quarterback (3.95 gpa)
carson perry-smith, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
jayden parker, running back (4.16 gpa)
isaac torres, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
mayze bryant, defensive back (3.5 gpa)
jordan franke, longsnapper (3.81 gpa)
dean taylor-chapman, running back (4.0 gpa)
tobey weydemuller, defensive back (3.92 gpa)
jude mclellan, outside linebacker (3.9 gpa)
nate escalada, defensive back (4.23 gpa)
michael cooley, outside linebacker (3.0 gpa)
ewan arechaederra, longsnapper (3.6 gpa)
lucas vanderlind, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
bj jones, inside linebacker (3.55 gpa)
sam bjerke, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
cole bosica, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
myles reber, wide receiver (3.75 gpa)
jeffrey johnson, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jack olyphant, tight end (3.72 gpa)
rj stephens, defensive lineman (3.77 gpa)
dru polidore jr, safety (3.75 gpa)
michael kern, punter (3.4 gpa)
landon morris, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jayden dixon-veal, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
lj johnson, running back (3.7 gpa)
abram murray, kicker (4.0 gpa)
brent "paco" austin, corner/nickel (3.3 gpa)
jordan sanford, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
harrison taggart, linebacker (3.9 gpa)
chase meyer, kicker (4.3 gpa)
mark hamper, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
zae smith, defensive tackle (3.37 gpa)
daveion harley, offensive lineman (3.36 gpa)
kendrick raphael, running back (3.8 gpa)
quimari shemwell, corner/nickel back (3.0+ gpa)
brandon high jr, running back (3.3 gpa)
rino monteforte, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
tj bush, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
quaron adams, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
chris victor, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
jojo genova, offensive lineman (3.5 gpa)
erik peters, kicker (3.9 gpa)
devin brown, quarterback (4.4 gpa)
dazmin james, wide receiver (2.6 gpa)
justin hasenhuetl, interior offensive lineman (3.75 gpa)
jacob de jesus, wide receiver/kick returner (3.67 gpa)
caleb johnston, longsnapper (3.5 gpa)
simon mapa, tight end (3.47 gpa)
mason mini, tight end (3.8 gpa)
john gayer, edge defender (2.8 gpa)
jordon moko, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
jayden wayne, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
brook honoree jr, punter (3.8 gpa)
dominic ingrassia, quarterback (3.2 gpa)
jaron keawe sagapolutele, quarterback (3.75 gpa)
buom jock, inside linebacker (3.1 gpa)
leon bell, offensive tackle (3.1 gpa)
tristan dunn, safety (3.0 gpa)
lamar robinson, offensive guard (3.5 gpa)
tyson ruffins, interior offensive lineman (3.8 gpa)
lajuan owens, left tackle (3.2 gpa)
hezekiah masses, corner/nickel (2.7 gpa)
kyle cunanan, kicker (3.73 gpa)
tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (2.95 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)
khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (2.75 gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (2.7 gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
jaivian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.7 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv

cal's monster class OFFICIAL personnel evaluations of the above disney wives ^

cbyf1 (curvy brunette yoga female): 3rd from the left-gotta luv the full PONYTAIL, the off the shoulders top (with a hint of boobage) & the tight azz fitting lulu lemon pants tells u she's FUN!!

cbyf2: 6th from the left-backless dresses are triggering, the updo hairstyle frames the face & green is always an excellent fashionista dress color choice, what time is our dinner on the patio at nobu malibu??

cbyf3: far right-luv the blue & gold ensemble color choices but puts out a kinda uptight (no cleavage) high maintenance non yoga/meditation smu chancellor (allergic to dogs) kinda vibe

the other disney wives-whatever

any disagreements??

https://instagr.am/p/CjJvNTAr6MZ

At Tap Haus.

Nothing to be said but Go fucking bears pic.twitter.com/hF3wXznOOk

— Matt H (@korealaska) May 4, 2024

underwear is for losers (doggy dogs don't wear that ****)#

tj bush to minnesota

the land of 100,000 lakes & mosquitoes#

The situation with Demond Williams and his signed contract at Washington has drawn the attention of the Big Ten, per ESPN sources. The Big Ten was vocal in Xavier Lucas' controversial transfer to Miami from Wisconsin, supporting Wisconsin in trying to enforce the contract. https://t.co/2lvmrWxrTH

— Pete Thamel (@PeteThamel) January 7, 2026

washington qb1 demond williams flips to lsu after signing a nil contract in seattle & now faces a massive legal challenge that will not involve the ncca

this is why college transfer portal commitments with signed nil deals are 100% more binding than high school recruiting commitments

this is not gonna end well for all parties, washington really can't afford to sign another qb1 for a couple of million dollars until this messy legal dispute gets resolved & winter quarter classes started in drizzly azz montlake last monday

where's ej??#

Shocky1 said:

---

umunhum, yeah the last bear from amador valley wuz linebacker harrison mayo during the jared goff era, good chance the staff will have a qb2 by this time tomorrow nite

have u teed it up at the completely renovated (by architect jay blasi, the mastermind behind chamber's bay in tacoma & twin dolphins in cabo san lucas) poppy ridge in livermore??...the fotos look fabulous and blasi apparently tightened up the routing to make it more walkable, looking forward to getting out there this spring to check it out

do u got any pleasanton/livermore restaurant recommendations for a pre round lunch, post round dinner or special desert??

---

Sorry, Shocky, but I don't golf and I haven't been back to Pleasanton in a couple of decades since I moved to Minnesota, so I'm afraid I don't have any tri-valley restaurant recommendations!

Dim sum: Mayflower in Dublin
Indian: Taj Mahal Flavors of India in Livermore near outlet mall
Spanish: L Campo in downtown Livermore
Pizza: Zachary's Chicago Pizza in downtown Pleasanton (the same one we used to enjoy in Berkeley)

Shocky1 said:

---

cal transfer portal recruiting update:

https://instagr.am/p/DKqLS8nSSm7
with the top returning qb1 in college football plus this week's transfer portal additions of a wr1, te1, rb1 & lt1, the staff is now focusing on recruiting a qb2 thereby allowing huge upside true freshman nainoa lopes from st louis high school in honolulu to blueshirt during the 2026 season

so tomorrow rolo & jordan are bringing in on an official trip oregon state transfer (4 years of eligibility still remaining) 6'2" 205 lbs quarterback tristan ti'a from amador valley high school in nearby livermore

Heckuva signature.
Not gonna lie. Bummed you are leaving.

- #GoBeavs did you right giving you start in last game & yet not playing you too much this szn to lose a year of eligibility.

You got some good game tape vs #GoCougs to showcase talent for next team, like this TD drive. pic.twitter.com/x653BCVfQU

— Bleacher Seat PBP - Casey at The Mic (@caseykahler) January 3, 2026

brah, tristan is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island

---

Ti'a is a good prospect. Would be very good insurance for JKS in case of injury and as noted still has 4 years left to play and is local.

He is supposedly headed to Auburn after his visit here, but they have a very good transfer QB already in Byrum Brown who is following new Auburn HC Alex Golesh from USF. Golesh runs a strong offense but relies a lot on QB athleticism. Cal will run a more pro style offense with Rolo and Somerville orchestrating the Cal offense.

This should not be a tough call Tristan. Academics, coaching and close to home. Go Bears.

Shocky1 said:

---

umunhum, yeah the last bear from amador valley wuz linebacker harrison mayo during the jared goff era, good chance the staff will have a qb2 by this time tomorrow nite

have u teed it up at the completely renovated (by architect jay blasi, the mastermind behind chamber's bay in tacoma & twin dolphins in cabo san lucas) poppy ridge in livermore??...the fotos look fabulous and blasi apparently tightened up the routing to make it more walkable, looking forward to getting out there this spring to check it out

https://instagr.am/p/DRxjoIkkrNU
^ notice that there is no strip of rough protecting the fairway bunkers, crooked azz drives are gonna run/funnel into the hazards which is an old school design characteristic of all the fabulous melbourne australia sandbelt gems like royal melbourne east & west, kingston heath, victoria, commonwealth, etc

do u got any pleasanton/livermore restaurant recommendations for a pre round lunch, post round dinner or special desert??

---

Hi Bill. Based on his screen name, Umunhum lives in San Jose. The Native-American name is a peak in the Santa Cruz Mountains, that is now a county park and used to have an Air Force radar base on its top. Lokanta and Nonni's have good reviews in Pleasanton, but Poppy Ridge is actually at the far eastern end of Livermore, almost to the Altamont pass. To be honest, on the few occasions I've eaten there, I usually large slabs of beef at Cattlemen's, as a guilty pleasure. I'm playing Poppy Ridge in a couple months in a tournament. The pictures I've seen look great, especially the fact that the new course looks walkable.

Umunhum said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

umunhum, yeah the last bear from amador valley wuz linebacker harrison mayo during the jared goff era, good chance the staff will have a qb2 by this time tomorrow nite

have u teed it up at the completely renovated (by architect jay blasi, the mastermind behind chamber's bay in tacoma & twin dolphins in cabo san lucas) poppy ridge in livermore??...the fotos look fabulous and blasi apparently tightened up the routing to make it more walkable, looking forward to getting out there this spring to check it out

do u got any pleasanton/livermore restaurant recommendations for a pre round lunch, post round dinner or special desert??

---

Sorry, Shocky, but I don't golf and I haven't been back to Pleasanton in a couple of decades since I moved to Minnesota, so I'm afraid I don't have any tri-valley restaurant recommendations!

---

So much for my theory that you lived in San Jose. Did you work at the Air Force base?

https://instagr.am/p/DCuylkDRcFJ
umunhum, sorry to hear u won't be joining me then at my beloved white bear yacht club north of the twin cities when them cali golden bears travel to minnesota on september 16, 2028

forcey, appreciate the culinary recommendations: mayflower gonna be shocky dinner1 (sd1) based upon the dim sum with l campo (hopefully got shrimp tacos on the menu) as sd2

6956, agree with ur recruiting points re: qb2 (which is always one violent hit away from being qb1) but pretty sure auburn is a piece of **** school academically (which sets up its white back up qbs for careers in used car sales in birmingham) that can't be traveled to on fall gamedays in 45 minutes by the fam...but who knows maybe tristan has never been to a buc-ee's or a waffle house and likes eating really lousy asian food in the deep south??

jeff, looking forward to ur architecture course review of poppy ridge after ur tournament

jmu rb1 wayne knight (an undersized 5'7" 190 lbs back with wheels) is heading to ucla, the jet (not in the transfer portal) is ****** if he stays in westwood for his final year of eligibility)

Shocky1 said:

---

cal transfer portal entry:

Thank you Cal
Ilb 6’2 230
3 years of Eligibility
St/Practice Film
ready to work. pic.twitter.com/mndRmbQHCM

— Eze Osondu (@EzeOsondu1) December 31, 2025

is eze gonna be a future buc-ee's employee at age 30??

https://instagr.am/p/CuIVTfIJZ2M
don't be a dumb azz (or "go be great" cleaning ****houses)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (for those willing to do the hard work both on & off the field in the quest to build generational wealth, this path is NOT easy)

Best Universities in the World, 2024:

1.🇬🇧 Oxford
2.🇺🇸 Stanford
3.🇺🇸 MIT
4.🇺🇸 Harvard
5.🇬🇧 Cambridge
6.🇺🇸 Princeton
7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology
8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London
9.🇺🇸 Berkeley
10.🇺🇸 Yale

Times Higher Education

— World of Statistics (@stats_feed) April 29, 2024

---

eze with the commitment to them texas san antonio roadrunners, he's on the path to become the soft drinks inventory manager1 (sdim1) at buc-ee's when he's 30 years old

osondu threw away a berkeley degree for wut??

stfu shocky (mind ur own ******* biz)#

BearForceOne said:

---

Dim sum: Mayflower in Dublin
Indian: Taj Mahal Flavors of India in Livermore near outlet mall
Spanish: L Campo in downtown Livermore
Pizza: Zachary's Chicago Pizza in downtown Pleasanton (the same one we used to enjoy in Berkeley)

---

Burma Burma in Dublin serves tasty Burmese fare.

Shocky1 said:

---

cal transfer portal recruiting update:

Thank you god pic.twitter.com/HoMHX5INQ6

— Carter Vargas (@CarterVargas21) January 3, 2026

11.53 100 SPEED 6' 210 lbs wildly unknown uc davis transfer running back carter vargas from santa maria is gonna officially trip to berkeley

WARNING: DO NOT WATCH THIS CUT UP IF U GOT HEART PROBLEMS!!

⏳ 🤞agtg pic.twitter.com/Es7V4gbZS6

— Carter Vargas (@CarterVargas21) December 9, 2025

uc-berkeley=the home of NFL running backs (with high gpas)

---

🐻 pic.twitter.com/HTgHmBkwGs

— Carter Vargas (@CarterVargas21) January 7, 2026

view to a KILL (for the underdogs in life that just don't evah quit no matter what)#

Shocky1 said:

---

cal transfer portal recruiting update:

https://instagr.am/p/C1FFTsKsN6G
11.64 100 SPEED 5'11" 203 lbs utep explosive running back ashten "lil ash" emory from rockwall high school is gonna officially visit berkeley january 5th & 6th...emory rushed for 569 yards this season for the miners & got 3 years of remaining eligibility

Freshman tape!

All conference freshman RB
117 carries
569 yards
4.9 yac
6 total tds
673 all purpose pic.twitter.com/fivEisbwQP

— Ashten “Lil Ash” Emory (@AshtenEmory) December 9, 2025

lil ash is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.7 gpa & wuz named to the conference usa commissioner's 2025 academic honor roll

yeah the theatre arts major emory is an IDEAL fit in berkeley both on & off the football field!!

plus he got good hair (unlike the bears running back coach)

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including dallas)

---

KAAAAAABBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

give ashten the ball, u got ACTION!

https://instagr.am/p/DOrnpo_Dr2X

🐻 pic.twitter.com/iViAmJ6xk3

— Carter Vargas (@CarterVargas21) January 7, 2026

KAAAAAAAABBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMZZZZAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

turning down actionable offers from lsu, oregon & michigan this remarkable lifelong underdog carter vargas from a little high school has beat the ******* odds at every challenge...banged up last season playing for the aggies carter aka doggy dog is back baby!!

💆🏾💆🏾been a minute but we’re back pic.twitter.com/RYWxF6LYhT

— Carter Vargas (@CarterVargas21) December 21, 2025

yeah the bears have gone from the worst rushing program among the power 4 conferences in 2025 to potentially the TOP RUN PROGRAM IN THE ACC IN 2026!!



it's impossible to measure what's in someone's heart#
^ shocky pays bills & **** thru multiple side hustle gigs including writing chinese fortune cookie inserts

https://instagr.am/p/DTOwSO3D3m-
CONGRATULATIONS to still undersized (gotta starting counting his daily protein grams, 170+ is the rory mcilroy goal/standard) true freshman trevor cox on shooting 64, 70 & 70 to win the mcclure cup at ford ord's demanding bayonet & blackhorse courses to win his only championship other than the son/mother 3rd flight at legoland country club back in the day!!

yeah trevor is the 2nd greatest bears golfer from legoland middle school other than michael kim who is currently ranked #37 in the world & gonna tee it up at the 2026 masters at augusta national which is kinda more fun than playing a 5+ hour cartball round at tilden park with a triple bogey on the 1st hole or something

https://instagr.am/p/DS8rS6tD1d5
**** the long lines at dizzyland, legoland rules!!#

McGilvra (new DL guy) seems amazing. Sac state #s and his NFL private clients are really impressive. Anyone else super pumped about this hire?

cal transfer portal entrant:

TAMPERING?
Rumors are circulating around Cal journalist Thomas Dunn on his status as the portal landscape heats up. Sources close to TD tell me he has received massive offers from major schools, despite his transfer status being unknown. If TD were to enter the portal, he’d be… pic.twitter.com/En9C82U2F8

— Callie Wake (@wokemobfootball) January 7, 2026

yeah dunn may be a journalist1 (j1) but more importantly is he gonna share that ******* perfectly grilled burrito with extra rice or not??

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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cal's monster class analysis of cal special teams:

note: the following room evaluation is based on multiple sources & my personal observations:

*****ryan longwell is a paid special teams consultant that lives 3000 miles away from berkeley that shows up around once a month, his personality is such that he is not really nurturing/encouraging in his coaching style which is kinda mind boggling from someone who is a scratch golfer who understands the mental fragility of golf swings/kicking motions

*****the kicking during the longwell era other than mateen bhaghani has been been beyond breaking bad with his unreal loyalty to the 3 iron trajectory dario longhetto which cost the bears multiple games in every season of his cal career

*****the punting during the longwell era has been somewhere north of mediocre with inconsistent distance & hang time

*****mateen bhaghani wuz a perfect 27 of 27 on extra points & 8 of 9 on field goals, he wuz not given any opportunities to kick any over 50 yards...he is now the ucla kicker, his 2024 big 10 season will be interesting to track

*****mateen bhaghani wuz given the assignment to kick off in only one game, his pregame instructions were to "kick the ball high & to the right" which wuz not practiced during the week...the dumb azzs will tell you he failed to kick the ball deep & lacks leg strength based upon this while parroting the longwell, wilcox & cherrington misinformation

*****it wuz a major 2024 recruiting miss & poor player evaluation of personnel by the staff not to offer all american punter kanyon floyd who will be heading to hometown asu with a full scholly...kanyon would've given the bears a potential 4 year all acc punter who with his current 4.73 gpa would've been a strong candidate to gain acceptance into the haas biz school

*****coach so'oto is nowhere in sight during special teams pregame warm ups (presumably vic is with the outside linebackers room), anyalyst zack tinker handles the warm ups

*****tinker preps during the week the punting & kick off coverage & return gameplans

*****the usc special teams play wuz terrible under coach so'oto (coach wilcox referenced his "experience" when he assigned the room to vic)

*****no team fair catches punts more than cal, the decision to have sure handed jeremiah hunter as the punt returner despite lacking lateral explosiveness to make the 1st tacklers miss is mind boggling

*****kickoff returns other than the epic jaydn ott touchdown return in the rose bowl have been non existent

*****shocky bumped into the last special teams coach charlie ragle & then recently hired bill musgrave in february of 2021 outside of the raucous world famous 16th hole of the phoenix open, both guys were absolutely **** faced & mostly incoherent during our 5 minute conversation...the person with me noted that both of them had the bulbous red noses of those with major drinking problems

*****former special teams analyst michael barton is "a terrible communicator"

special teams bottom line: cal has fielded the worst special teams units in college football during the coach wilcox era, a full time special teams coach needs to be hired as the bears can no longer afford the luxury of 2 defensive back coaches

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https://instagr.am/p/DSyQeF8Ei3_
welcome back zach tinker, the ducks got very high performing metrics on special teams during the 2025 season with most notably 5 blocked kicks & outstanding coverage units!!

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cal transfer portal entrants:

both kicker chase meyers & punter brock honore jr are transferring from cal, all 5 of the 2025 bears special team members (a long snapper, 2 kickers & 2 punters) will not be returning to berkeley this spring

the above list of bears in the transfer portal will be updated

in tinker we trust (a NEW era of special teams at memorial stadium)#

Tosh Lupoi: Always crootin’ pic.twitter.com/tlJPVJwpq3

— Adam Rittenberg (@ESPNRittenberg) January 8, 2026

24/7/365#
^ the amount of time shocky thinks about curvy brunette yoga females playing golf (and taking showers to shampoo their ponytails afterwards) or something

https://instagr.am/p/CwQcO5IIhL_

cal transfer portal recruiting update:

Louisiana-Monroe OL Que McBroom is entering the transfer portal, his agent @AliBarnes_DSG tells @mzenitz.

The 6-foot-5, 325-pounder started all 12 games at tackle this season. Has a 7-foot-4 wingspan. Played 673 snaps this season, allowing only two sacks. Owns a 71.3 career… pic.twitter.com/6r4uxZiOaH

— 247Sports Transfer Portal (@247SportsPortal) January 7, 2026

if the ncca approves a final year of eligibility louisiana-monroe transfer with a 74 inch wingspan offensive tackle 6'5" 325 lbs tank "que" mcbroom from st marys high school in st louis would be a high motor trench worker for cal's monster offensive line

allowed zero sacks against alabama this season!!

With the ongoing juco eligibility lawsuit. I have entered the transfer portal. If approved, I will have 1 year of eligibility remaining for this upcoming season. pic.twitter.com/Aq2msmAQkM

— Tank Mcbroom (@McbroomQue) January 7, 2026

the ncca junior college appeals should be finalized in the near future, right jacob??

cal transfer portal recruiting update:

FIU OL Mykeal Rabess has committed to Cal, his reps @DreamMakersTM tell @PeteNakos.

The 6-foot-8, 320-pound tackle has appeared in eight games, allowing just one pressure on 32 pass-blocking snaps.https://t.co/kSYG7dZ8sR pic.twitter.com/SdzvIo8Cc6

— Transfer Portal (@TransferPortal) January 8, 2026

KAAAABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

WELCOME florida international transfer inexperienced with high upside offensive tackle 6'8" 320 lbs mykeal rabess from south beach

https://instagr.am/p/DTO7oe-jdRt
mykeal is NOT a dumb azz, he earned an associate of arts degree from miami-dade junior college with a 3.68 gpa while still in high school at rise preparatory academy in miami!!...give ex stanford coach viane props on this recruitment

yeah rabess got a massive upside, he's the cal's monster offensive line florida project


^ the florida project directed by sean baker (director of 2025 oscar best movie anora) literally makes shocky cry & laugh within seconds in this heartbreaking masterpiece, this is one of the most cinematic powerful movies of our lifetimes with its glimpse of the next stop homeless living in ****hole motels across the united states (this movie wuz filmed next to orlando's disney world)

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the sunshine state)

Here is new Cal RB Adam Mohammed vs Tosh Lupoi Oregon defense 👀 pic.twitter.com/yfkPLCn7Pu

— Brad (@Graham_SFN) January 6, 2026

fun fact: back when cal's monster class wuz recruiting adam mohammed then apollo high school vice principal kevin galbreath (former asu star running back built kinda like barry sanders) tole me that one of his responsibilities included keeping students moving in the hallways between classes to ensure their on time arrivals & that the always outgoing with new hair coloring every month 3.5 gpa adam wuz a pain in the azz always tryna talk up his female classmates well after the bell & blown vice principal whistles!!

brah is shifty with NFL SPEED, the return of the PITCHOUTS in berkeley!!#

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/Ce656jpOAo8
wake forest demon deacons 43
mississippi state bulldogs 29

congrats to underrated head coach jake dickert on turning around the wake football program (9-4), the deacons are gonna be a formidable opponent when they travel to memorial stadium in the fall of 2026 but more importantly hopefully dance/cheer coach christy (now selling real estate or something) will come outta retirement & make the trip too after looking at shocky aka yoga boy sideways the entire game during the bears victory in winston-salem in 2024!!

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cal football opponent update:

wake forest is incomprehensibly bringing in north carolina transfer gio lopez as it's 2026 qb1 who is gonna be a massive downgrade from the deacs outstanding 2025 qb1 robby ashford when the deacs visit berkeley in the fall of 2026

watching lopez up close from the field during the tar heels game at memorial stadium, gio (whose strength is his mobility) is around 5'10" in real life & not only struggles to see downfield vertical passing game windows but also throws a lofty (necessary to get it over d-linemen) soft ball that floats in the airsapce

yeah gio is a qb2, this is a gone sideways personnel evaluation **** up by wake

Berkeley vs UNC pic.twitter.com/NGPrgFTgwZ

— Reese Adams (@ReeseAdams76102) October 22, 2025

^ somerville & rolo need to line up the bears behind center (**** the pistol) in 2026 short yardage situations

cal men's golf update:

https://instagr.am/p/DTMgO7UEeSe
real talk: blueshirt sophmore sihao cong needs to gain weight & start tracking his daily protein grams like pga golfers...looking like a lean feral doggy dog is ******* great if u wanna be like shocky & ur primary goal in life is to become a substitute teacher at modern yoga (the monster is currently unfairly evaluated as a syt17 which is total bull****) but no es bueno if u wanna get PAID playing professional golf someday

wut, can't people speak candidly/honestly (from the heart) without a social filter without uptight people having heart seizures or something??

https://instagr.am/p/DLAsakAP5Wq
cal's monster class does not give 2 ***** wut anybody thinks (other than that future cbyf1)#

Shocky1 said:

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cal transfer portal entrant:

starting left guard jordan spasojevic-moko is in the portal, apparently he got 1 more year of eligibility based upon 2 injury seasons at texas a&m

good luck to moko, really the only fiery dude on the 2025 o-line

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Thank you Cal 💙💛 all glory to god in the final chapter. pic.twitter.com/1HXGpHUYIn

— Jordan Moko (@moko_jordan) January 8, 2026

no mention of gratitude for coach anae, that's pretty bad form/lack of respect for a brah who started u in every game despite ur inconsistent play/effort

as the world turns (on the 9th island)#

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com

Shocky - now that we brought in 3 RBs from the portal, seems to me that the Jet will not be landing in Berkeley. Is that your take?

yeah forest that's sadly my take too, jaivian & his moms javona got some really bad advice from a bitter aristotle thompson (who has NEVER had a running back drafted in the nfl, how do guys like him & vic so'oto keep getting p4 jobs with zero NFL developed players??) who went outta his way after getting the northwestern job to fly back to berkeley for pro day to badmouth cal to his old rb room (my source on this is multiple bearents)

shocky still thinks the jet (despite getting relegated as a rb2/3 in westwood) is a mamushi killah and a star star star star star star

Shocky1 said:

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cal transfer portal recruiting update:

Louisiana-Monroe OL Que McBroom is entering the transfer portal, his agent @AliBarnes_DSG tells @mzenitz.

The 6-foot-5, 325-pounder started all 12 games at tackle this season. Has a 7-foot-4 wingspan. Played 673 snaps this season, allowing only two sacks. Owns a 71.3 career… pic.twitter.com/6r4uxZiOaH

— 247Sports Transfer Portal (@247SportsPortal) January 7, 2026

if the ncca approves a final year of eligibility louisiana-monroe transfer with a 74 inch wingspan offensive tackle 6'5" 325 lbs tank "que" mcbroom from st marys high school in st louis would be a high motor trench worker for cal's monster offensive line

allowed zero sacks against alabama this season!!

With the ongoing juco eligibility lawsuit. I have entered the transfer portal. If approved, I will have 1 year of eligibility remaining for this upcoming season. pic.twitter.com/Aq2msmAQkM

— Tank Mcbroom (@McbroomQue) January 7, 2026

the ncca junior college appeals should be finalized in the near future, right jacob??

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This would be a huge get. Even if it takes time to resolve the extra year it is being in the portal that matters. He can sign at any time after. Hopefully the NCAA just speeds these up and rubber stamps them!