cal's monster offensive line

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9:49p, 4/7/26
^ glenn, the cal hoops fanbase has been decimated & is aging out at approximately 15-20% per year with no replacements of younger fans...elite players are not gonna wanna come to berkeley to play in front of nobody, even their bearents are depressed by the non existent crowds at haas...tryna sell the program via jaylon tyson who basically wuz flunking outta cal when he declared for the nba is not fooling anybody

the recent decision by jay & jenny to sell the unaffordable to poor kids $125 combo pass & not invite all berkeley students to attend men's hoops games for FREE is just another marketing blunder as the chancellor continues to allow the co athletic directors to hire marketing/revenue development directors who are not berkeley grads (just like them)

yeah shocky public requested the contracts for both jay & jenny, they are both being paid just south of $500,000 with july 1, 2026 expiration dates...is the chancellor gonna renew them??...keep in mind rich is also paying general knowlton $1,200,000 a year thru 2029 as part of the separation documents i've reviewed

looking at the official visitor list posted above don't see anybody from the central valley at this time but during the last high school cycle the bears did sign speedy wideouts ej morgan & tyree sams from fresno

honestly don't think the 2 way deal works anymore with berkeley's academic demands but never say never...it's likely the bears will get a commitment from a 2027 qb1 during the 1st official visitor weekend so it will be interesting to see how the recruitment for elite point guard/quarterback caden jones (scheduled to trip to berkeley during the last official visitor weekend) plays out
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9:57p, 4/7/26
https://instagr.am/p/DWrnksZEjOp
real talk: eat like ****, feel like **** & then play like ****

https://instagr.am/p/DWzvX5LDUh9
clean eating is good for ur mental & physical health (whether it's in inglewood or on the patio at nobu malibu)!!#
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1:27a, 4/8/26
https://instagr.am/p/DW26SkKDOqq
^ us open local qualifying is at ruby hills (nicklaus design) in livermore on may 5th (other 1st round options are stonebrae on may 4th or pasatiempo on may 6th)...final qualifying for the 2026 us open at shinnecock hills is at del paso in sacramento on june 8th

https://instagr.am/p/DLUn369tSk5
^ shout out note of appreciation to haas biz school berkeley grad frenchman joel stalter bringing the cal coaching staff to the recruiting table with future euro ryder cupper callixte alzas



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including shocky's beloved world top 25 morfontaine, voila!!)

https://instagr.am/p/DJqDhDWRFup
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:44a, 4/8/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


coach lup is targeting long beach poly jackrabbit +1 athletic juju johnson


yeah juju got good hair (unlike the bears head coach who got a 3 stooges trim & wrinkly azz shorts)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DWzYaV0AXsj
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (which is a pathway to building generational wealth, just ask desean)


I just dropped and did 10 pushups.
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6:32a, 4/8/26
82, coach lup wanted 20
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1:37p, 4/8/26
https://instagr.am/p/DW4Ex_0CDnR
wowza, listening to coach lup is making me realize that we both say a lotta crazy as **** stuff in our lifelong quests to share knowledge with our vast awareness of ****!!

dude sounds like he wuz up all nite like me writing fortune cookie inserts to take care of some unpaid bills

but let's be real here, if shocky is evaluated by modern yoga as a substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17), there's no ******* way that tosh is any better than a syt21 or something

yeah a lotta of our berkeley bears head coach talk is incomprehensible, kinda wondering if there are sub titles when he opens his mouth so guys can follow along??

https://instagr.am/p/Cdvssp9j-Ms
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:59p, 4/8/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school quarterback recruiting update:


national recruit 6'1" 205 lb brody rudnicki from nor cal powerhouse folsom high school is gonna officially trip to berkeley june 11-14th


brody is an ideal fit with his 4.0 gpa & strong leadership qualities, it will be very interesting to see how the 2027 qb1 recruiting plays out with current conditional offer(s) potentially becoming an actionable offer

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (and only a 90 minute drive on fall gamedays from folsom to memorial stadium for the fam & friends)

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7:38p, 4/8/26
2026 masters: final prep day


^ important note: augusta national favors a draw off the tee

max homa: good news is that mr poopy diapers is hitting the ball straight, the bad news is that he's hitting a lotta ******* ground balls


michael kim: as literally michael's only fan on planet earth that actually walks with him during tournaments you would think mr legoland bigshot would've gotten the monster a doggy dog bag from player dining with an extra poke bowl or something



collin morikawa: translation of his press conference

"Look, my wife Kat points out all the time that me and Shocky are basically the same height and weight, we're both Poly hopa/hopa with tiger moms, we both got 4.0 GPAs in high school and graduated from Berkeley's Haas Business School, we both are foodies and are active in doggy dog rescue facilities fundraising in our communities."

"Honestly the only real difference between us is that Shocky got a yoga/meditation practice and perfect back health and I don't have a yoga/mediation practice and my ******* body is falling apart!! I'm gonna laugh my azz off tho if Shocky strokes out from his new barre classes at Modern Yoga and needs medical assistance or something from a Curvy Brunette Yoga Female1 (CBYF1)!!"


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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:13p, 4/8/26
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting updates:

with the 2026 transfer portal mostly done, the staff is already building a wall around nor cal with 4 key pipeline high schools visited by the entire staff on monday plus a couple of in home visits with high priority targets such as serra high school's 3.3 gpa defensive back jeovanni henley & +1 athletic malakai taufoou




2027 high school recruiting update:


malakai is a mama's boy like shocky!!#
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9:26p, 4/8/26
2027 high school recruiting update:


the bears offensive braintrust is targeting nightmare matchups 6'6" 215 lbs rahzario "zo" edwards from pipeline program grant union high school in sacrmaneto


zo is gonna officially trip to berkeley on may 28-31st

yeah does edwards wanna join his pacer teammates giovanni hodge & roger vanderhoef as part of the 2027 california golden bears high school class??

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (and a short drive on fall gamedays from the capital to memorial stadium)
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:01a, 4/9/26
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

the following is a loose transcript of the conversation between chancellor lyons & head coach lupoi:

tosh: man, ima feeling great today, got a full 4 hours of sleep last nite in a real bed!!

rich: that's great tosh but why can't you comprehend that berkeley is the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD not just the united states??

tosh: look we never studied maps or anything like that at delasalle, we wuz too busy winning football games on a football field with a football

rich (sigh): just try listening to shocky for a change, coach, he understands today's 6 second attention span marketing economy better than anybody on planet earth other than probably doms, leidy, moani, allison stokke fowler and becky g

tosh: really?...and are you going to inclusively offer FREE football and basketball tickets to all berkeley students moving forward so poor as **** students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds can celebrate gamedays with their classmates??

rich: yeah me and ron gotta talk about that, it's kinda messed up that rich kids from palo alto, pebble beach and stinson beach got parent(s) that can afford the student sports pass but that poor kids from seaside are ******...studying by yourself at moffett during this september 5th's uc championship game is probably not that fun

tosh: so do you got a plan regarding those ****tards jay and jenny??

rich: yeah, what a ******* ****show

tosh: is your timeline acceptable to shocky??

rich (sigh): we're kinda ******* around and gonna find out, coach

tosh: ok, now is probably not a good time to ask you about getting a new shower in my office...

rich: your right and keep shocky off my azz by making sure your recruiting high gpa student athletes that are mentally limitless!!


yet another MAJOR **** up by the cal athletic department:


yeah the golf & football programs are doing a lotta positive things to build their brands/relationships in today's fiercely competitive 6 second attention span market economy but the athletic department's decision to once again charge a $125 combo pass for the football & men's basketball programs is a beyond breaking bad FAILURE to understand today's berkeley students (which is causing them to perceive their collegiate experience as transactional which will preclude them from becoming season tix buyers and/or donors in the future)

all berkeley students should receive FREE tixs to all games, got it??

apparently not

outta touch bureaucrats will tell you that people don't value/appreciate FREE stuff which ignores the fact that literally none of the students buying the combo pass are doing so with their own money, they got middle class & above parents buying the pass for them

and so the poor kids are ******, those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds (which is rapidly growing segment of berkeley students as it enrolls more 1st generation college students which is a great thing) are NOT gonna be experiencing the magic of cal football & basketball because they don't got no money (right fergie??)

this student tix policy also fails to recognize that a lotta of today's berkeley students NEVER went to high school football & basketball games coming from foreign countries which don't celebrate these sports & also usa high schoolers who wuz more relentlessly focused on achieving the necessary 4.2+ gpa for potential admission to berkeley...the dumb azzs making this decision don't understand that today's berkeley students are fundamentally different than themselves at the same age (a classic case of ethnocentrism) which is compounded by the fact that the unlikeable co athletic directors are not berkeley grads & basically clueless as ****

my berkeley grad poor as **** tiger moms (who grew up in a small space above a laundry in san francisco) never went to any games back in the day because she got no money, she went on to become the largest drug dealer in nor cal (ok the director of pharmaceutical services for kaiser permanente)

and so jay & jenny and their dumb as **** non innovative marketing team are gonna continue this exclusionary practice of ******* over the poor kids in berkeley

and there will be tarps this fall at memorial stadium (and 30,000+ empty seats for the wagner gameday) and a continued quiet & unoccupied haas pavilion with NO ENERGY unless the opposing teams buy up all the tixs as wuz the case this season with duke & north carolina



love you, moms (u never needed a telescope to know where u wuz going)#

REAL TALK: TWO THIRDS (68%) OF ALL CURRENT BERKELEY UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS RECEIVE SOME FORM OF FINANCIAL AID
https://medium.com/@CalAdmissions/you-asked-about-ucberkeley-financial-aid-we-answered-8046520e15ef

TODAY'S BERKELEY STUDENTS CANNOT AFFORD THE $125 COMBO PASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:01a, 4/9/26
Shocky1 said:
82, coach lup wanted 20
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6:25p, 4/9/26

2026 masters: 1st round update

max homa (72, tied for 17th): max played the par 5s like a boss man with fist pump birdie 4s on the 13th & 15th holes and an unreal eagle 3 on the 8th hole after lasering an uphill & semi blind fairway wood 280+ yards to 5 feet with homa walking after the shot like a ******* dodger after a walk off homer!!...exceptional positive body language (congrats to lacey & the club's player's decorum expectations), dude is dialed in!!

collin morikawa (74, tied for 40th): gutty performance low lighted by 2 tentative collapsing swings on his 2nd shot on the par 5 8th hole & the drive on the par 4 11th hole due to his still lingering back issues...yeah shocky is gonna send collin a cheerful as **** cal blue yoga mat so his brah can win a 3rd major

michael kim (75, tied for 48th): with the masters cutline rewarding the top 50 players with official world golf ranking points, michael's battling 4 on the par 4 18th hole was critical as he somehow saved par after a sub 200 yard snap hook drive that clipped the trees coming outta the narrow chute
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6:34p, 4/9/26
2027 high school recruiting update:


pole, as a 4.0 gpa exemplary student athlete u should already know that ucla is a solid back up safety school for those denied admission to berkeley, stanford & the ivy league and ****

don't be a dumb azz, amigo



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:09p, 4/9/26
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
cal transfer portal recruiting update:

6'4" 240 lbs new mexico transfer portal tight end dorian thomas from kent washington is currently on a 24 hour official visit to berkeley today


thomas caught 56 passes last year as a lobo & is considered the 2nd best tight end/the 1st best power forward in the portal

https://instagr.am/p/CnSN2CFvCNf
dorian is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.6 gpa

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD


KAAAAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

WELCOME 3.6 gpa all american tight end dorian thomas & his beautiful family to his new lair of the bear in berkeley!!


shocky is now all in with richmond native new tight end coach steven haugna with assistance from mike saffell, cal could literally have the most explosive tight end room with standout mason mini in the nation this fall!!

best wishes for dorian to develop with this staff, earn a berkeley degree that will serve him well during the next 50 years, get PAID in the national football league & eventually date and marry a curvy brunette yoga female1 (cbyf1) kinda like the bears last nfl all pro tight end/hoop star tony gonzalez

dorian, this **** is not that complicated

https://instagr.am/p/CzGzGiOgJJE

https://instagr.am/p/DW7b53QAexn
spring tight end depth chart: dt is te1 & with mason mini sidelined true freshman taimane purcell is getting reps at te2

lost in translation: dt's hometown of seattle got drizzly azz rain most of the year with NO sunshine & is depressing as **** even if u got half a dozen umbrellas!!
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9:17p, 4/9/26
https://instagr.am/p/DW7KPpiEqNS
real talk: #2 (either ej caminong or kingston lopa-all them polys including shocky look the ******* same) is gonna be someday the ceo of nasa or a toy manufacturing company or something

https://instagr.am/p/DQogysYj7di
* berkeley grad vals (and her ponytail) is crushing it (miles, u need as many NEW life experiences as possible to generate creative content, just staying at home & doing the same old **** is not gonna be the pathway to success bro)!!

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5:02a, 4/10/26
https://instagr.am/p/DIeYdL2p9uG
do u got coachella all access backstage passes for weekend #1 or #2 in 2026??

cali is more FUN than midwest, northwest & deep south football factory ****hole lousy weather towns for low gpa disposable gladiators & their uneducated value play fans

don't be a ******* dumb azz (and always be singing in the shower)#
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6:03p, 4/10/26

2026 masters: 2nd round update

max homa (70, tied for 16th): CONGRATS to max on his most positive attitude playing the game he loves since he wuz a little **** at the public vista valencia public golf course in santa clarita back in the day!!...top 12 players & ties earn invitations to the 2027 masters plus a three jack national ball marker, let's ******* go maxazillion (tommy lasorda would be proud of ur grit)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DWzwE_sDLKU
collin morikawa (69, tied for 20th): playing with significant back pain (walking stiff legged like a 80 year old former kapalua ritz carlton luau lava rock dancer) but still sporting a SMILE our cal golden bear still somehow courageously managed to hit 11 of 14 fairways & is rolling the rock beautifully on the greens!!...morikawa is NOT a dumb azz, he will get a yoga/meditation practice like the shockster, book it nano

https://instagr.am/p/DW-LMp4jWOk
michael kim (77, missed the cut): one of the legacies of the original cal's monster class wuz that it emboldened cali bears to build out their brands via authentic social media messaging, check this out


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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:31p, 4/10/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


a major priority in the 2027 class is nightmare mismatch uber athletic wideout charles "spida" davis iii from westlake village high school

the spida is gonna web his azz up to berkeley for an official superhero trip on june 4-7th & do the hang on the rooftop of the claremont with his brother niles davis

https://instagr.am/p/DUAv76sEb9X
^ don't try this **** at home kids, the spida does this **** with NO EFFORT!!


^ fun fact: shocky is a minimalist (anti materialism/hoarding/clutter), he don't got either a watch or an aquarium (or a single piece of ******* underwear *which is for losers)!!


KAAAABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ain't no mountain high enough in the berkeley hills to keep bros spida & niles apart, yeah at the end of the ******* day family is EVERYTHING!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on planet earth (just ask lucky schirmer & johnny tofi)
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8:19p, 4/10/26
https://instagr.am/p/DW-KvqXCQQB
cal's monster class architecture talk:

shocky is on the same page as his brah z on this one, the renaissance golf (tom doak's firm) restoration of the alistar mackenzie spectacular splash bunkering in the barranca & tiny slivers of green for precision required pin placements is on point for the FUN pitching wedge 13th hole

like augusta national, the key to scoring at pasatiempo's 5 par 3s is hitting approach shots underneath the holes leaving uphill birdie putts, got it??

and not ordering the 30 day old deep fried barracuda from the otherwise fantastic food trucks near the santa cruz boardwalk, andrew mcgraw's vomit stains near the catalyst's parking lot are still the talk (and smell) of the town

https://instagr.am/p/DGY2U4XSYia
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8:50p, 4/10/26
2028, 2029 & key partners high school recruiting visitors:









the university of california, berkeley=FRIENDLY as ****!!

https://instagr.am/p/C-m0ug8sMtM
^ long eyelashes r attractive (but not as important as ponytails)!!

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com
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sonofabear51
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1:37p, 4/11/26
Bump.

Great information, TY Shocky!
Start Slowly and taper off
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5:22p, 4/11/26

^ white people r funny (shocky's tiger moms would never sign off on her son stealing **** and/or calling attractive brunettes cbyf1s, sorry moms)!!

2026 masters: 3rd round update

collin morikawa (68, tied for 12th): how the **** do someone who gotta handicapped parking spot at augusta national hit 13 outta 14 fairways & 16 outta 18 greens in regulation??

collin is also putting lights out & releasing the putterhead with his new lighter broomstick which is getting the ball rolling on line with proper weight which is kinda important when the greens are as fast as the putting green in coach lup's office

what is morikawa's WORSTEST hole (his arch nemesis) in his sorry azz career??...that would be the par 4 11th hole at augusta national which favors a fade on the drive & a draw on the 2nd shot (ruh roh) which collin has played 17 OVER PAR which includes the 3 bogey 5s this week...a par tomorrow would be a nice ******* improvement, brah (maybe u should move up a set of tees or something)

https://instagr.am/p/DXAUXibj0ST
max homa (71, tied for 21st): max's almost pink (not fuschia) shirt wuz fashionista on point unlike his driver which missed 7 outta 14 fairways, homa could go low manana on master's sunday with a little more accuracy off the tee

michael kim: michael practiced at augusta national today while his cbyf1 stared at her phone & kept him updated on cal's monster class or something




the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (for those who wanna fall in the SUN)
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:52p, 4/11/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting update:


coach bhonapha is seeking a 2027 rb1 that can combine athletic & academic ambition, keith is targeting SPEED homerun threat/powerfully constructed 6' 206 lbs antwon "aj" sanders iii from ce king high school in houston...aj is gonna officially trip to berkeley on june 15-18th




the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (just ask buc-ee why he got the **** outta nasty azz texas weather for ideal cali weather)


KAAAABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

even buc-ee is leaving nasty azz weather houston and driving to the left coast!!

https://instagr.am/p/CwX1rGFAzjy
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7:58p, 4/11/26
2027 high school recruiting update:


hayden, as a smart as **** 3.5 gpa true student athlete why do u got 3 bull**** worthless academic football factories that gotta lotta low gpa disposable gladiators like oregon, georgia & alabama on ur finalists list??

and r u ok with these football factories with unlimited nil/revenue sharing funding being able to buy a cb1 in the transfer portal relegating u to a cb2 in a moment's notice??

what's the travel time & cost to get ur fam to these lousy azz weather ****hole towns vs the 1 hour flights on southwest from vegas to oakland on fall gamedays??

bishop gorman is a national high school football powerhouse but how many crusaders evah actually got PAID in the national football league??...if u evah get injured do u really want to be working for tips valeting at the winn & parking my wheels at 1:30 am when ur 30 years old??

r u gonna use ur mind as a weapon because ur mentally limitless and gonna take care of moms??

this **** really isn't that complicated, hayden



ambition is something in ur veins (don't be a ******* dumb azz)#
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8:07p, 4/11/26

kasi, with an elite generational wealth building degree comes a serious ******* responsibility to serve & protect the most vulnerable in society, got it??


^ this **** makes the shockster cry *my yoga/meditation practice has helped me get in touch with my feelings & become more emotionally available and ****!!

rip sky blue#
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8:47p, 4/11/26

the bear would not quit, the bear would not die#
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8:50p, 4/11/26

r u a good teammate (do u lift those around u)??#
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9:05p, 4/11/26
2027 high school recruiting update:


the staff is working to build a pipeline to oaks christian in westlake village (just over the hill from the monster's favorite restaurant on planet earth, nobu malibu) & is targeting +1 athletic 6'4" 260 lbs alifeleti isitolo tuihalamaka


alifeleti is NOT a dumb azz, he got a stanford offer too

tuihalamaka is gonna officially trip to berkeley on june 15-18th

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (for polys that like singing in the shower or something)

https://instagr.am/p/DIbYqfhs9ic
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:32p, 4/11/26
Shocky1 said:
2027 high school recruiting updates:

may 28-31st official visits:


3.5 gpa 2027 cal commit apex predator edge defender troy bowens from sutter high school


highly ranked qb1 on the staff's big board sione tu'amoheloa-kaho from lincoln high school in tacoma


national recruit unreal destructive defensive lineman 6'3" 290 lbs jon ioane from tustin high school


4.0 gpa high motor multi dimensional tight end zac fares from arbor view high school in las vegas


#1 ranked offensive lineman in the nation force of nature 6'4" 340 lbs lex mailangi from mater dei high school


3.8 gpa lockdown corner/nickel darius johnson from murietta valley high school


3.75 gpa +1 athletic playmaker jai jones from chandler high school


3.8 gpa ELITE 2 time all state 1st team qb1 dane weber from chaparral high school in temecula


4.0 gpa unreal athlete/probable defensive back pole moala from santa margarita high school


nightmare mismatch 6'6" 215 lbs offensive threat rahzario "zo" edwards from grant union high school

june 4-7th official visits:


3.2 gpa ELITE potential day 1 starter +1 athletic duvay williams from serra high school (gardena)


#1 ranked hawaii offensive lineman 6'5" 305 lbs isaiah bertola from campbell high school (ewa beach)


4 star wideout with length 6'4" 190 wideout zion white from the img academy in florida/punahou high school (honolulu)


cal commit nightmare match up +1 athletic 6'5" 210 lbs charles "spida" davis iii from westlake high school


4.0 gpa 2027 cal commit explosive wideout blake gunter from southlake carroll high school


4.0 gpa high motor destructive lineman 6'2" 285 lbs sione felila from oak hills high school in hesperia


3.4 gpa playmaking defensive lineman sam lejuene from poplarville high school (mississippi)

june 11-14th official visits:


4.0 gpa 2027 cal commit apex predator defensive lineman giovanni hodge from grant union high school


bay area priority impact prospect with 22 mph SPEED defensive back malakai taufoou from serra high school


3.3 gpa potential hometown hero +1 athletic jeovanni henley from serra high school


game breaking 4.4 SPEED running back malachi mcfarland from damien high school in la verne


violent on the field/3.9 gpa off the field explosive athlete kingston celfie from kardashian high school in calabasas


4.0 gpa highly accurate quarterback brody rudnicki from folsom high school

https://instagr.am/p/C4EWpASySp4
cal commit & lucky's bro 3.5 gpa unblockable defensive end miles isaac schirmer from corona centennial high school


sticky fingers wideout with length rob larson from folsom high school (dynamic qb to wr duo)

june 15-18th official visits:


3.1 gpa relentless motor/worker defensive lineman wesley gover from thompson high school (alabama)


cal commit physical running back 6' 205 lbs antwon "aj" sanders iii from ce king high school in houston


uber +1 athletic combo quarterback/point guard caden jones from crean lutheran high school


unreal +1 athletic defensive lineman alifeleti isitolo tuihalamaka from oaks christian high school


explosive 6'5" 315 lbs defensive lineman kasi currie from sierra canyon high school in chatsworth, #1 recruit in NATION

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (not just the "country" aka united states, our head coach is a dumb azz)

note: the above list is fluid (some of the above prospects have made commitments to other schools and may or may not still trip to berkeley) as we are assembling the most TALENTED (with legit NFL upside) academically qualified high school class in the history of cal football!!
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Shocky1
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5:29p, 4/12/26

^ the 9/11 terrorist financed liv exhibition golfers are absolute disgraces to the game along with being uncompetitive and are methodically being eliminated from playing in the majors

2026 masters: 4th round update

collin morikawa (68, tied for 7th): despite wearing an ugly azz shirt & walking stiff legged like a former luau hot lava rocks dancer, morikawa blitzed the back nine at augusta national on masters sunday for 5 consecutive birdies~~

also good news that mr -1 athletic 5.97 40 (handheld) finally made a par on his arch nemesis 11th hole (entered today playing it 17 over par during his career), wowza!!

real talk: when collin gets a yoga/meditation practice like the shockster he's gonna win a 3rd major, book it dano



max homa (69, tied for 9th): CONGRATS to mr poopy diapers dad on a bogey free clean (unlike his fingernails) scorecard & by finishing in the top 12 earning an invitation to the 2027 masters!!

max hit one of his greatest shots in his life from a severely hanging lie in the right rough with a flighted shot that barely carried rae's creek which resulted in an EPIC eagle 3 (and a crystal bowl for lacey to put bbq potato chips into back home in scottsdale's arcadia district) on the iconic par 5 13th hole

https://instagr.am/p/DXDVJJwjKyV
homa has moved up from #163 to #117 in the official world golf rankings, another strong performance at this week's hilton head lighthouse tournament (gotta sponsor exemption, collin & michael kim are also in the field) could potentially move max into the top 100 which will receive invitations to the 2026 pga championship in may at aronomink in philly (with a fabulous set of severely undulating donald ross greens)

https://instagr.am/p/DXC33BBD-LJ
yeah our cali berkeley bears don't got no green jackets & **** but much more importantly this song is dedicated to them in honor of their outstanding performances on one of the game's largest stages at a cathedral of golf (not to be confused with tilden park)!!



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com
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sonofabear51
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12:04a, 4/13/26
Lots of information, TY Shocky!
Start Slowly and taper off
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Shocky1
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1:01a, 4/13/26

https://instagr.am/p/DPw6I41kzYR
charles "spida" davis (wr1) or a curvy brunette spider female1 (cbsf1)??#
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Shocky1
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In reply to oskiswifeshusband • 1:14a, 4/13/26
oskiswifeshusband said:
Hope you are doing well Shocky xoxo

https://instagr.am/p/DW931FLEs22
tyson alualu or Becky G??

don't be a dumb azz#
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Shocky1
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9:55p, 4/13/26

2026 santa cruz boardwalk collegiate tournament: 1st round update

fantastic opening round with cal in 1st place at 7 under par with 4 cali bears shooting in the sixties on the fabulous pasatiempo world top 100 cathedral of golf!!

bears currently leading 7 teams ranked ahead of them in the national rankings, this week presents a tremendous resume building opportunity for the program prior to the acc championship tournament with the ncca selection show the following week

trevor cox (66): tied for 3rd trevor is arguably the fastest ascending true freshman in the nation!!...cox gotta beautiful putting stroke with the ball rolling off the putterhead with a true roll, 6 birdies today is a tremendous achievement...let's ******* go, mr legoland high school superstar!!

charlie bundy (68): my fellow haas biz ad bro (along with collin morikawa & fernando mendoza, we are all one love) rolled in 5 birdie putts & kept the scorecard clean from any major mistakes...this is one seriously smart golden bear!!

sihao cong (68): sihao is like the shockster with his positive energy substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17) outlook on life...and yeah he's a pretty talented golfer too but more importantly the congshow got good hair!!

daniel heo (69): so happy for the hard working senior putting it all together for a round in the 60s, CONGRATS daniel!!

yeah them bears are sailing in the right direction to the almonds in the grove, got more 2 opportunities to outplay several west coast powerhouse programs, let's go baby (we are so close to all of this)!!



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